It Starts as a Dream
by theivydaggers
Summary: Phil is always sure about himself and his thoughts, but when feelings for Dan arise, what on earth will he do? And when Dan needs his help more then ever, will Phil be there for him? Or will it just always be a dream? RATED M SEX, SELF HARM AND SWEARING.
1. Feelings and Fanfic

**So I haven't written a story in AGES! I deleted my old story cause it was AWFUL and well, here is a Phan fic :D Dan and Phil are real people and as much as I wish them dating was real, they are not. Rated M for sex and swearing in later chapters ;) MWAH! Love you all!**

**Phil's POV:**

I've been having some really weird dreams lately. I mean, it's nothing important right? Just dreams. But they are getting more and more…uh…out of hand. If I'm being honest, I enjoy them, but I wake up so absolutely uncomfortable, I don't know what to make of them. The dreams, well, they're about…er

Dan.

'_Oh dreams about Dan what's wrong with that Phil?'_

Well, the dreams are…sexual.

They started last week after Dan and I had gone to bed. We were fooling around as usual but somehow he ended up reading me fan fiction about us.

"He reached across his belt, stroking thoughtfully across his balls…" Dan was near tears in laughter as he read it.

"Oh god Dan, mental images! Not nice!"

"They meant Poke Balls! I hope…ahahh!" We both laughed as he kept reading.

"This is both horrific and hilarious." I said, gasping for air. Dan was clutching his sides as he continued. We both kinda stopped laughing at the sex scene and blushed deeply instead. The whole thing was so awkward we couldn't look each other in the eye for the rest of the night. How people even managed to fathom those images in their heads is beyond me. When I started sleeping however, my mind just turned what I heard into reality:

_I came home from shopping in Manchester. It was a bitter night and the cold air had bitten my exposed skin. Shaking slightly I walked to the kitchen and placed my groceries down. I raised an eyebrow at Dan, leaning against the bench top and smirking. "What are you so pleased about?" "This…" Dan walked up to me and kissed my, his lips pressing roughly into mine. I was shocked, but it felt so…right. Our tongues collided, fighting for dominance in the kiss. Dan pushed me down onto the bench top, his warm soft lips never leaving mine. "I love you" He whispered into my ear. "I love you too." I moaned._

Yes. Disturbing, I know. But that didn't stop all the blood in my body rushing south when I woke up. I don't like Dan. I mean he's my best mate. I think I don't like him. I think so. But, why the dreams? I paced around my room sulkily, kicking the toy totoro in annoyance. Sighing, I sat down on my bed.

"Why brain? Why are you so absolutely, positively confusing?" I lay down, my hair annoying falling across my eyes. I guess Dan was pretty attractive. I mean, for a guy. He had a really beautiful figure and those eyes were amazing…

Ok. I really need to sort my mind out.

**KNOCK KNOCK!**

The sound roused me from my daydream. I sat a bit straighter in the bed. "Come in!"

Dan opened the door sheepishly and kept looking down at his feet. Very unlike him. He shuffled forward, his head down his feet appearing heavy like weights. When he was about a metres distance from me he stopped and looked up, his eyes were easy to read: 'Embarrassment'.

"Er, I just wanted to say sorry for reading that part in the fan fiction yesterday. That was kinda weird…" He suddenly seemed to think his feet were the most interesting things in the world.

"Uhm. It's ok, it's not your fault so many of our fans want us to do it…" I felt my cheeks grow warm as I said it and Dan raised his head and eyebrow, also blushing slightly. A light pink shade crossed his tanned cheeks.

"…Well. Uhm. Yep. So. Goodnight?" Dan pulled me into an awkward hug, only staying for a few seconds before breaking away. I will sadly admit that I wanted to hug him longer. Wait. What?

I don't like him.

Do I?

**WOAH! FEELINGS! HUGS! PHIL AND DAN AWKWARDNESS! COMMENT AND FAVORITE 3**


	2. Dreaming

**Hey Guys! I'm back! Thank you for your support on this story, i'm having so much fun writing it! Hope you enjoy! -Theivydaggers**

**Dan's POV:**

I closed Phil's door, and hear a muffled sigh. I hope he's ok; he's been acting so weird lately. I guess it was my fault, he's probably still feeling weird about the fanfiction. Most people would find fanfiction about them and their best mate weird.

I'm not most people.

The weird thing is, I found the story really interesting. Every night when I'm sure Phil's asleep, I've been turning on my iPod and reading the newest chapter. I felt comfortable when I was reading it. I blushed at the fail moments, got upset at the sad moment, laughed at the joyous moments and even got slightly flustered at the kinky moments.

I'm allowed to feel flustered right? No matter who it's about, good saucy writing will get anyone flustered right? Right?!

Oh Jesus I'm weird.

I pushed my brown locks back; I had hobbit hair from my shower. Grumbling as one of my fingers got caught in a curl, I tiptoed forward to my bedroom. I tried to push the door open quietly, hoping little noise would mean Phil would sleep faster. So obviously my brain took 'Stealthy' to mean 'fall into your door and land on your stomach on the floor of your bedroom.'

As i fell i yelped, shutting my eyes and bringing my hands over my face to protect it. I fell with a loud thump, before rolling over and groaning. Gently i opened one eye, then both, my eyes adjusting to the darkness of my room. Smooth Dan. Feel proud of yourself yet? I bit my lower lip and listened, trying hard to hear if Phil had woken up. Nothing. God knows how he slept through that, but i was thankful I hadn't woken him from his slumber.

I pulled myself up and stripped down to me tee-shirt and boxers, ready for bed. I tumbled into my soft mattress, the springs creaked slightly i rested on them. I sighed. Comfort. Pulling my iPod of the charger, I flicked open to the newest chapter of the story. This is my life.

And i love it.

I had been reading for about an hour when I heard something in Phil's room. I ignored it till i heard it again

"Jesus Christ Phil what is it?" I muttered to myself lightly, Turning my iPod off and stumbling groggily out of bed. I tripped on the blanket slightly, but managed to regain my footing before another fall. I really need to work on this whole 'walking' thing.

Pushing my dark wooden door open, I walked gently down the hall. The sound from Phil's room was getting louder; the only other sound audible in the house was the gentle trudge of my feet on the laminated wood. As I reached Phil's door I suddenly realised the many number of embarrassing situations I could walk into. What if he was, er, getting to 'know himself'? What if he was in pain because of an awkward position he had put himself in? What if he was watching porn for fucks sake?

I decided I should open the door anyway, but slowly. I wrapped my tanned hand around the bronze knob, twisting until I heard a familiar click. I leaned against the door frame and pushed the door open, painstakingly slow. It took longer than I expected to gently push the door open so i could poke my head in. As I turned my head in the crack of the door, I was relieved to find Phil asleep. He was arching up in his sleep though, groaning. Raising an eyebrow, I pushed the door further and slid in, sitting down his chair and looking at the bed. His face was that of pure ecstasy, his forehead gleaming with beads of sweat that made some of his raven black locks stick to his head. His mouth was slightly open and his back was arched as he tightened his grip on the sheets, clutching them so hard, his knuckles were turning white he groaned again, saying something untranslatable. With realization I realised what he was dreaming about. My eyebrows shot up on my head, eyes wide and grin wider. I bit down on my tongue to stop myself laughing

"Enjoying yourself Phil?" I asked to the sleeping body. A murmur was all I heard in response. Who would have thought it, Phil dreaming of sex. Maybe he's dirtier when he's asleep. He groaned loudly and I bit the side of my cheek to stop a giggle coming out. But then…

"Dan…"

I froze. Was he awake? He couldn't have said my name could he?

"Oh god Dan…"

Wait, he can't be dreaming about…

"Fuck Dan…mm…uhh."

I blushed bright red. He was dreaming about…me. Having sex. With him. Ok this is just to fucking fucked up to even comprehend.

"Yes…mm…Dan…"

I stand up with eyes wide and cheeks flushed. A large tent was being formed in Phil's bed.

"Oh fucking bull tits." I looked down at my own pants to see that my member was definitely impressed by Phil's display. Trust my penis to respond to anyone calling its name. Awkwardly I slipped back out of his room and walked shakily back into my room, trying to put everything together that I just witnessed. My member finally started dropping after a while.

"Well," I said to myself quietly "that's one way to get your flat mates attention."

**WEE! DID YOU LIKE IT? I LIKED IT! OH GOD WHY DO I MAKE THEM SO AWKWARD. HAHA, OH WELL! COMMENT AND FAVORITE MY LOVELIES! **


	3. Working it out and Remembering

**Hola! Thank you all for the wonderful response on chapter two. I like making them so awkward; they always say they're such a klutz in real life, so that's what has happened. Also, I don't like fanfiction the goes straight from one chapter to sex, so this story will have a couple things happen before sexy times. I think that's all. Much love; Theivydaggers.**

**Phil's POV:**

I was waked by the smell of bacon, the delicious scent trickling under my door and climbing into my nostrils. I didn't feel ready to be up yet though. I rolled over in my warm bed, my eyes still shut and my cheeks flushed. I had another dream, but oh god this one was incredible. I screwed up my eyes tighter

_No Phil, don't think like that._

I listened to the sounds around me. Birds were tweeting, cars beeping, bacon cooking and Dan humming in the kitchen. My eyes felt heavy and sore, but slowly I opened them, my vision flooded by the warm sunlight. I hissed at it and rolled over again.

"I don't wanna get up," I mumbled to myself "If I get up, I have to see people...and do things." I grumbled and pushed the blanket down, sleep was not happening now that I was awake. I stumbled out of my bed and looked down at my bed.

"Oh fucking hell..."

I hate cleaning the sheets...

After I put the sheets in the wash without Dan noticing, I groggily walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. The steam rose up and covered the glass in a thick fog. I peeled off my clothes slowly, not wanting to expose my bod to the cold air of Manchester. Stepping into the hot shower, I felt relived. The warm water worked out the pains in my neck and back, and was slowly waking me up. I covered my body in raspberry kisses lotion. I know, manly. I tried to remember the dream I had as I washed my torso. As it came back to me, my cheeks grew warmer than the water.

_Dan threw me onto his bed, his hands caressing my hips as he straddled me, grinding into my pelvis. I threw my head back in pleasure, his lips pressing into my exposed neck, sucking and biting and kissing, leaving his mark on my body. I had no shirt on, and he was busy undoing my jeans as we lay there. My hands travelled over his abdomen, he shuddered in pleasure and purred into my ear. He had taken off his shirt and his body pressed into mine, closing the gap that was there before. 'Dan…' I moaned, he chuckled and kept grinding. 'Wait till you see what's next lover.' He took of his own pants and slid his fingers under my waistband of my pants. A moan escaped my lips. 'Oh god Dan…' he pulled down my pants and winked at me before lowering his head onto my cock, sucking and kissing, his lips moving down my shaft. I groaned and buckled under him; I didn't last long, and came into his mouth. _

'_Fuck Dan…mm…uhh.'_

'_You liked it?'_

"_Yes…mm…Dan…"_

_He laughed into my chest. 'Sleep well my sweet.'_

I was startled from the memory of my dream by a hard rapping on the door.

"Oi! Hurry up in there, breakfast is ready."

"I'll be out in a minute!"

"Which minute though?" Dan jokingly asked, his smooth voice being slightly muffled by the shower.

"Soon."

"Whatever, but if you're not out here in ten minutes, your bacon is mine."

That made me get ready quicker.

As I walked out of the steamy bathroom with my dark hair still damp and my shirt and shorts on I sat at the breakfast bar and dug into my food. Only after a while of eating did I notice Dan avoiding my gaze, my touch and any conversation. I frowned, my nose crinkling in confusion. I didn't do anything wrong did I?

"Hey Dan, you all right? You seem to be avoiding me."

He looked sharply up, his eyes lingering on mine before he coughed loudly and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Huh?"

"Thinking about what?" As I finished my question I took a large gulp of coffee and ate my eggs. Dan blushed slightly, but not much. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Uh. Just you know…llamas." He looked confused at his response and I laughed lightly. I knew he was lying, but if he didn't want to talk about it, I wasn't gonna force it out of him. He'll tell me in time.

"Of course you are."

He laughed weakly and ate his food before stumbling out of his chair and walking off. He went to his room and when I heard a faint click, I knew he locked the door. I sighed. I wonder what's wrong with him. Still now he's not here, it's time for some internet research. It's time I sorted out what I felt.

I spent half an hour on the internet before I came to the conclusion. I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about it. I'm pretty sure I'm bi. I like girls, I really do. But guys aren't bad either. I pondered this for a minute and walked back to my room. As I got to the hall I heard the something from Dan's room. Pushing my ear against the door I listened. The sound was muffled, and hard to hear, but I was pretty sure on what I heard. And it wasn't nice

Dan was crying.

**Awh Dan but I liked writing the dream ;) comment and favourite like always! Mwah!**


	4. Crying

**Hey there! So I would like to thank all you lovely Phan girls for the support on this story! I'm having so much fun writing it! Now I'm not sure how this chapter will turn out, but hopefully it will be good. Prepare yourself for something that will pull your heart strings! -Theivydaggers**

**Dan's POV**

I went to bed thinking about what I saw in Phil's room. Was he gay? It's not like I'd have a problem with that or anything. It's just a bit of a shock that's all. Shaking my head slightly, my fringe covering my eyes, I lie down on my bed, the soft feel of it relaxing me while my brain worked at full power. Phil wouldn't keep a secret this big from me would he? I mean, sure it might be awkward telling me, but wouldn't it strengthen our friendship?

Or maybe he's not gay, and it's just one of those weird dreams that make you question yourself after. I've heard about completely straight guys who dream about other guys. Isn't that a weird, but normal thing? I flipped onto my side in my bed, my brow furrowed and my forehead slightly damp with sweat. I stood up and opened the window; the cool breeze was a blessing against my hot skin, cooling it down with sweet, chilling kisses. I look and Manchester, the lights twinkling on the buildings and the cars like little bugs crawling across a black strip of paint. I press my forehead against the wall, cold and calming.

Phil will tell me in his own time. If it's nothing, it will just be embarrassing to bring it up. If it's something, he's obviously not comfortable telling me yet. I'll just have to wait. I groan.

I hate waiting.

I hear a buzz from my IPhone and raise an eyebrow cautiously. Who on earth would be texting me so bloody early in the morning. Fuck it. I'm not going to respond.

_Bzzz!_

Shut up phone. Little twat.

_Bzzz!_

"Shut the fuck up!" I grumble to the inanimate object. In frustration I bang my head on the wall.

"Ah shit! Fucking tit that hurt!"

Smooth Dan. Real smooth.

_Bzzz!_

"Alright I'm coming, Jesus mate, couldn't you have waited?" I stumble over blindly in the darkness, kicking my cupboard hard with my foot in the process.

"Fuck!" I say, louder then I wanted to. I bite my fist to stop me from crying out. Shit that hurt.

_Bzzz!_

"Shut up you bloody phone I'm coming!" I manage to get back to my bedside table, and fumble blindly over the items until I find my phone. Annoyed, in pain, and seriously tired, whoever Is texting better be fucking important.

_5 new messages from: Unknown Number._

Huh? I type in my password and look through the messages. When I read them my throat grows dry and my heart skips a beat. My stomach is doing belly flops and my gut is trying to climb up my windpipe.

_**You little brown haired fucker, you screwed with me and now I'll screw with you. His is a warning. I know where you live, and you know what? I will find you and I will fucking rip out your heart like you ripped out mine. That's right, I'm going to kill you jackass. You don't know who this is? It's your ex, Michelle. You fucking broke my heart without any reason, and now I will break yours.**_

Michelle? Oh god. That was the worst breakup I ever did, it was in front of her friends and I was such a dick. If I could redo that, I would. But now I'm freaking out a bit. This…this is a death threat. She might actually kill me. I feel my hands go clammy; my head coated in cold sweat, my tongue feels fat and useless in my mouth. I read the next messages.

_**I know you're awake. You never went to bed early. Stop being a pussy and face me**_

_**You honestly think anybody likes you? The only reason you have subscribers is because horny teenage girls get a high of watching you and Phil together. Oh yeah about that, you're probably gay right? I've never seen someone act like such a faggot with their mate. Fucking disgraceful, you will burn in fucking hell for that. **_

_**I know your faults Dan. I know your secrets that you shared with me. I know you've never really liked yourself and that you feel like a bad person behind that smile. I know that you'll crack with some gentle pushing. I know how to hurt you. I know how to harm you.**_

_**Fucking emo prick. Remember the cuts down your thighs? What you said when you were crying that one time like a little baby? Yeah it was true. Everybody hated you and you were and still are a little piece of shit. Go on, sleep now and cry. Go fuck your black haired boyfriend that feel guilty about how you hurt me you ass. Have a good sleep before I kill you motherfucker.**_

I can feel hot tears running down my face. My body shakes and I'm choking back sobs, making noises that sound like a dying animal. She's right. I am nothing. I shake and lie down in bed. I'm terrified. She's gonna kill me. She's gonna find me and kill me.

I am going to die.

I fell into a fitful sleep, my dreams torturous nightmares of Michelle killing me in all the sick, twisted way my brain could fathom. I look at the clock. 8:00am. Fuck. I roll over and close my eyes only to have my brain chant words again.

_You are useless. You are pathetic. You deserve to die._

I decide to check my phone. 4 new messages. I'm not physically or mentally capable to read them right now. I get up shakily; my body feels numb and dead. I can't go back to sleep. Not like this. I decide to be nice to Phil and make breakfast. I hope the cooking will take my mind of Michelle and instead, focus on Phil.

I feel nauseous as I start cooking, throwing bacon into a sizzling pan and putting a pot of coffee on. I put some toast on and start cracking some eggs in the pan too.

_Think about the Phil problem_

Phil. Phil. Phil. I roll the name over my tongue like I was trying a new food, getting used to the taste of it. It's a good name. I start to think about Phil. And lions. I start quietly singing a new song by First Aid Kit.

"Now the pale morning sings of forgotten things, she plays a tune for those who wish to overlook. The fact that they've been blindly deceived, by those who preach and pray and teach, but she falls short and the night explodes in laughter." I flip the bacon and start to relax a little. I'm fine

_No you're not. You're about as far from fine as you can get Dan._

Shut up brain.

"But don't you come here and say I didn't warn you, about the way your world can alter. And oh how you try to command it all still, every single time it all shifts one way or the other." I stop singing and start humming, the tune relaxes me and the food is almost ready. I flip the bacon out onto a plate with the eggs, place pieces of toast on both our plates and pour us coffee. I hear the stumbles of Phil's heavy footsteps in the hallway, walking into the shower I guess. I pause for a minute to check.

Yep. Shower.

Breakfast was ready and my mind drew me back to Michelle.

_You are going to die by her hands. It's your entire fault. You deserve it._

No. I've got to distract myself. Think of something else. I looked sickly at the plate, the food made my stomach both rumble with hunger, and cringe with nausea. I shake my head lightly.

"I'm fine."

_Not._

I walk down the hall to get Phil. I press my ear against the door. The sound of water falling greets me. I smile weakly and pull away. Dropping my smile, I knock hard on the door.

"Oi! Hurry up in there, breakfast is ready." I yell to the door hoping he heard me. A muffled but definite voice answers me.

"I'll be out in a minute!" Phil says. I grin. He always takes longer then he says. A minute could mean anything from what it's meant to mean, or being a completely different time. I sigh dramatically.

"Which minute though?"

"Soon."

That makes no sense. I shake my head even though he can't see me.

"Whatever, but if you're not out here in ten minutes, your bacon is mine."

I walk hurriedly back to the breakfast bar, frowning at my food. My stomach didn't feel hungry anymore. I stared intensely at my thighs, remembering that fateful night 2 years ago when Michelle found me, crying in a dark corner of a room with my blood slick on my fingers and a blade throw on the ground. My head droops. I don't even notice Phil until he starts eating. I shuffle away slightly, not wanting him to see me so hurt. I don't want to upset him. I run my finger over where a long pink scar is, just under the fabric of my shorts. I'm disgusting

"Hey Dan, you all right? You seem to be avoiding me."

Phil's voice startles me out of my trace and I look up, my eyes focusing intently on his bright blue ones. Those eyes were disarming. Kinda pretty. Fuck it, beautiful. I scolded myself for thinking that and coughed instead, earning a slightly confused expression from Phil.

"Don't worry about it, I was just thinking."

_About the past._

"About?"

"Huh?"

"Thinking about what?" Phil stuffs a piece of toast in his mouth and chews greedily. I seem dazed. I don't know what to say. I feel my cheeks warm with frustration at myself. Phil raises an angular black eyebrow at me.

_About suicide and how I'm a failure._

"Uh. Just you know…llamas." Llamas? Really brain? First thing you could come up with? Stupid idiot.

"Of course you are." Phil smiled gently at his plate, before spooning in some egg into his mouth. I shake my head and laugh lightly at him. No idea how he believed that lie. I eat my food quickly not really paying attention to what I put in my mouth. I stand and think for a minute.

_Do it. You deserve it._

I take a shuddering breath and walk clumsily down the hall into my room, locking my door behind me. I look at the phone and read the messages.

_**GAY FUCKER I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL**_

_**I HACKED YOUR FACEBOOK. YOU ARE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE ASSHOLE!**_

_**NICE CONVOS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ON FACEBOOK MATE. I CAN USE THIS AGAINST YOU.**_

_**DIE YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT JUST KILL YOURSELF WHY DON'T YOU?**_

Tears form in my eyes, stinging them. I look at the roof and desperately try to blink back tears. It's hopeless. They fall in heavy streams down my cheeks. I shake violently and run to my bedside table, opening a drawer angrily. I started sobbing and I picked up old reliable, my razor blade. I roll up the sleeve of my shirt and slice, wincing as it pierces the skin, thick trails of blood flowing down my arm. I cry harder, my eyes screwed shut and my face soaked with tears as I blindly slice again. I bite my other fist as a surge of pain ripples through me. Again. Again. Again. I continue to sob and cut until I feel woozy, I open my eyes and look at my crimson stained arm. Better.

**WWAAAA! OK IM SORRY THIS IS SO SAD AND DEPRESSING AND LONG AND I'M NOT MOVING FORWARD IN THE STORY BUT YOU NEEDED TO KNOW DAN'S POV AND ALTHOUGH I'M ALMOST CRYING I HOPE YOU LIKED IT. K, BYE.**


	5. Trails of Kisses

**Heya! So I know in the last chapter I lost a fan. I'm sorry that it upset you, but I like how this story is, and although I'll accept your criticism, but I won't change my story. Since the last chapter was so sad, I wanted this one to be happier! –Theivydaggers**

**Phil's POV:**

My ear is still against the door; Dan's crying is coming out in choked gasps. A crease forms on my head in worry. Although I know the door is locked, I quickly try opening it. Nothing. Just like expected. I bite my lip. I need to help him. I knock on his door, and hear him desperately trying to quiet his sobs.

"Dan? Are you ok? Can I come in?"

Dan tries desperately to stop crying, But I can still hear. In shuddering gasps he manages a weak "I'm fine." I press my weight against the door to try and push it open. It's useless. As I do this, I yell through the door.

"Dan don't lie. You're about the furthest from fine someone can get. Please unlock the door."

"...No..."

I groan and walk to my room, stepping over the bombshell which is my room. Getting my wallet, I remove my bankcard and hastily return. _Please, please work._ I go down on one knee, sliding the card down the thin crack of the door. Nothing.

"Fuck!"

I try again, steadying myself with a deep breath and moving slower, moving it around a bit until I heard a faint click. I grinned. I could totally be a spy, I'd be amazing! I...

I dropped my card through the door.

I groan in annoyance, but stand, pushing the door open quickly. I looked around the dark room, and immediately something felt off. The sharp, metallic smell of blood hit my nostrils, causing me to crinkle my face in displeasure. I looked around the dark room, finally spotting Dan curled in a small ball in the corner of his room, not facing me. His body was shaking and I could hear quiet cries. My chest ached, the sadness washed over me in a tide. Forgetting about the smell, I rush over to him.

"Dan?" I reach out to touch his shoulder, but he flinches at my touch. The smell of blood was overpowering now, it burned my nostrils. I move closer to him, our shoulders brushing against one another's, my eyes took in the scene, his dark hair falling across his tear coated face, his lips pale and trembling, his body that is usually tall and strong now hunched and small, he cradled his right arm to his chest, and as my eyes focused on the bloody metal object in his other hand, realization dawned upon me.

There were no words spoken. I pulled him into a hug, being careful not to apply pressure on his arm. His face nuzzled into the crook of my neck, the feeling of his skin against me sending tingles down my spine. But the tingles soon turned into waves of woe as I felt his hot tears cover my neck. His strong, tanned arms slinked around my thin waist, and he cried openly into my neck. My hands found their way into his hair, as I whispered calming words into his ears.

"I'm so pathetic Phil. I'm useless and gross." He mumbles into my neck, his lips touching the skin gently by accident.

"Dan you are not pathetic. You're strong and amazing and beautiful."

Dan stopped crying for a bit at the least word but didn't move away. I was mentally screaming at myself and my cheeks turned bright pink.

"I'm what Phil?"

"Erm. Nothing."

"You called me beautiful."

"Maybe."

"…huh, wow. Ok"

Dan didn't pull away. If anything, he held me tighter. I stopped scolding myself and just felt the warmth of his body against mine, his skin against my own. His hair tickling my ears and his lips grazing my neck as he spoke. I bit my lower lip to stop a moan coming out and held him tighter. I waited until he was only silently crying before I continued.

"Dan why did you do it? Why didn't you come to me. You know I'd help you."

Dan whimpered slightly and mumbled a single word; _Michelle_.

A wave of pure red hot anger surged through me, making my blood boil. I wanted nothing more than to see his ex feel his pain. I tightened my grip around and waited to calm down, trying to keep my voice a steady and even level.

"Daniel Michelle is an awful person. Toxic. You don't deserve toxic people in your life."

Dan whimpered and I pushed him back slightly so I could see his face. His dark eyes flowed with emotion, deep sorrow swirled around in his eyes. His cheeks were wet, and nose bright red. His lips shook slightly but not like before.

I looked at him and I realized I was seeing him in his most vulnerable state. Where every word I said meant everything to him. I closed my eyes briefly for a moment, before opening to still see the same face of Dan. Gently, I picked up his left arm and forced my gaze onto it. Blood coated from his wrist to his mid fore arm. I looked back into his chocolate brown eyes.

I don't even know why I did it, but I did. My left arms slid behind his knees before leaning him into my chest and scooping his neck with my right arm. Carefully, I raised myself, carrying a gobsmacked Dan in a princess like position. I walked him out of his blood smelling room and into the hall, pushing the door open with my foot. I was surprised by how light he was in comparison to his size. His face made the corners of my lip twinge, almost smiling. His eyes as wide as tennis balls and his mouth a perfect 'O' shape.

I trudged into my room, the muscles in my arm starting to strain. Slowly I placed a Dan onto my bed and went into my bathroom, rummaging through my cupboards. I removed the bandages, antiseptic cream and some toilet paper. I let the cool water soak the paper, before squeezing the excess water out. I walked back into my room, Dan hadn't moved from his position on my bed and I almost chuckled at his raised confused eyebrows.

"What are you planning to do with me Phil?" His voice was joking but his eyes betrayed him. I laughed loudly and shook my head.

"Not today Dan." I sat beside him and dropped everything onto the bed except the paper. Dan's eyes looked at me simply saying '_Thankyou_'. Gently I swiped the tissues across his cuts, cleaning up the blood. He winced slightly but stayed reasonably still. When he was cleaned up, I looked at the cuts. Only two or three were very deep, the others would probably heal.

I leant down near his arm.

_Don't do it Phil_

I pressed my lips onto his cuts, kissing them all gently. I felt him shudder. Possibly with pleasure, possibly in disgust. I looked up at him after my lips trailed away from his arm. His eyes were shocked but his cheeks were a pale pink. I blushed slightly and grinned before putting antiseptic cream on his arm and wrapping the bandages around it tightly.

"Phil…"

"Don't even ask. That was weird of me."

"That was fine."

I raised an eyebrow at Dan and his blush deepened. Laughing slightly, I leaned over and without hesitation I kissed him gently on the cheek, His skin was warm and clean shaven.

"Phil…."

"Get better Dan."

And with that, I walked out of my room and shut the door, grinning to myself as I left.

**SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE CUTE AND HAPPY! YAYAYAYAYA! PLEASE REVIEW AND FAVORITE, I LOVE YOU ALL MY BUNNNIES!**


	6. Cleaning, Tickles and Blushing

**Hey guys! I can't believe the amazing response on chapter 5! You have no idea how much that means to me! You all are lovely ^-^ here's a hug *hug*. -Theivydaggers.**

**Dan's POV:**

I watched as the door of Phil's room shut with wide eyes. As soon as the door was closed I ran my long fingers over the place he kissed on my cheek.

He kissed my cheek.

My mind was literally having a breakdown from all the different emotions running through it. My skin had tingled where ever he touched. My cheeks burned and my body practically ached to see him. I looked down at my bandaged arm. That was the sweetest thing someone had ever done for me.

I hopped off his bed and looked around his room. God it was messy, clothes and toys and electronics all over the floor. I stepped timidly, not wanting to knock anything over. I got to his bedside table.

"It wouldn't be snooping would it? We live together. It's only one drawer…" My tanned hand was starting to reach out, my fingers grazing the cold metal handle. But I stopped before I did anything. This was wrong. Sighing, I turned and looked away, disgusted that I was going to do that to Phil.

My mind tore back to Phil. If he is not gay, he at least has to be bi. I started pacing back and forth trying to work it out. Did he like me? I felt my heart thud loudly against my ribs as I thought about it.

No wait, I didn't like him.

…Much.

Ok, I didn't love him.

But I didn't need to love him. He made me get flustered and get tingles whenever he touched me; whenever he held me. I shook my head. No, this was weird; oh so very weird. My fingers wound around themselves as I bit my lip to concentrate. I am pretty sure he's gay. Did he like me?

My feet ran out of his room and ran around the house looking for him.

"PHIL! PHIL! PHIL!" I screamed.

"Jesus Christ Dan I'm in your room!" I furrowed my brow and walked into my room. There he was, on the floor with his shirt rolled up to his elbows as he scrubbed at the ground I had been sitting in a minute ago. The cloth was usually green, but turned red. I realized he was trying to clean up after me.

"Phil…you don't have to do that."

"Well I am. Be happy that you don't have to do a bit of work!" He looked up and grinned at me before going back to cleaning.

"Are you the woman in the house?"

"OI! Shut up!" He rinsed the cloth in a bucket of water and then threw it at my face! It hit me square on and I squealed at the cold, soggy feel of it. I yanked it off my face and glared at Phil, who was rolling around on the floor laughing.

"Shut up…"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE DAN. OH MY GOD. HAHAHAHA!"

Tears ran from his eyes as he clutched his sides and continued laughing. Despite myself, I started chuckling too. He is NOT going to get away with this one. I smirked before leaping onto him, pinning him down. He laughed and thrashed against my restraints.

"LET ME GO!"

"WE WILL NOT, WILL NOT LET HIM GO!"

Phil laughed joining in. "LET ME GO."

"Let him GOOOO!"

I laughed and he joined in. He pushed himself upwards trying to loosen my grip on him.

"Daan…"

"Nope. Pay back bitch!" I loosened my hands and started tickling his sides. He laughed and tried batting my hands away and thrashed around.

"STOP! HAHAHA!"

"NEVER!" I started tickling under his arms and then his neck. He laughed and in return, tickled my stomach. I laughed and started to squirm. I looked down at Phil and noticed a blush tickling his cheeks. I stopped and smirked.

"What are you blushing at Phil?"

"N-nothing. Nothing at all."

"You know, that argument would be more believable if your cheeks weren't red mate."

His cheeks burned. "Shut up."

Slowly I rolled off him, still smirking. I shuffled a bit closer to him. "What's up Phil? You know you can tell me anything." I was playfully flirting like we always did; I tried to do my best sexy voice. We always did this, but for some reason, Phil was looking away with even redder cheeks.

"Dan, as a friend, I am going to warn you not to do that." He bit his lower lip and looked away, his cheeks still bright red. I laughed lightly moved closer, so my mouth was a mere couple of centimeters from his neck. I breathed lightly over the skin and his breathing got hitched in his throat.

"Why not Phil?"

"Oh for god's sake Dan…" He rolled over and pushed me off and tried to stand up, but something was wrong. I looked him over and almost choked at thin air when I saw his pants. Phil raised an eyebrow at me and looked down, swearing under his breath. He moved away and sat down on my bed, placing my pillow over his crotch.

"Err, sorry Phil."

"Well I was planning on telling you later, but in case you didn't guess, I'm bi mate. So you probably shouldn't do those joke things again." He blushed and looked down at his hands.

"You-you're bi? I knew it!" I squealed and danced around in circles before stopping and looking at a flabbergasted Phil. He shook his head in disbelief and kept his eyes on me.

"I didn't think I was THAT obvious." He muttered and I laughed.

"Phil, you kissed my cheek. Not to mention that night awhi…." I stopped mid-sentence biting my tongue. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. My eyes went wide and my cheeks suddenly felt warm. Phil's eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up his head. His cheeks burned redder then before.

"You…YOU WENT INTO MY ROOM AT NIGHT?!" He shrieked out of pure embarrassment. I looked down guiltily at my feet and shuffled around awkwardly.

"You were making noises and I wanted to make sure you were ok…" I blushed deeply and looked at Phil cautiously. His beautiful blue eyes seemed as big as his face, his cheeks a dark crimson color but the rest of his face white as snow. He groaned and put his hands over his face in shame.

"How long were you there?" His voice quiet and muffled by his hands. I bit my lip and decided to tell the truth.

"I'm guessing for about 80% of it…" Phil groaned in embarrassment and threw himself backwards onto my bed. He turned over so his face was covered all I could see was his back.

"I want to go drown in a pool of my own shame right now…" His muffled voice came

"Phil…"

"Ugh. Why does my body insist on embarrassing me?" He mumbled. I laughed lightly and sat next to him, patting his back in soothing circles.

"I'm glad you told me you're bi. I'm also glad that to at least one person I'm attractive." He sat bolt upright and stared at me. I winked in return and he fell back down causing me to laugh. He punched me lightly in the gut in return.

"Don't push your luck Daniel…"

"Don't call me Daniel, Phillip."

"Shut up."

"You shut up."

"If I wanted my own come back, I would wipe it off your mums chin." I goggled him with wide eyes and an agape mouth. He looked over at my expression and cracked up laughing.

"ZING! Oh god I've been hanging around you too much." He laughed harder, his tongue poking out slightly and his black hair falling across his face. I punched him lightly in the arm and looked at him. He really was beautiful. Ivory skin, onyx black hair, slim but strong build and his laugh sent pleasant chills down my spine. I grinned at him before shoving him.

"Phil?"

"Yeah Dan?"

"Please don't become another me. The world is already visiting a counselor because I exist." He laughed and shook his head.

"Don't worry Dan, I don't plan on it." I mocked fake shock and he winked at me. I ran off pretending to cry and his laughter grew louder. I couldn't even fake crying anymore. I started laughing as well. For that moment I just forgot everything bad. I forgot Michelle, I forgot my cuts, I forgot my scars and I forgot my dark thoughts. Instead I focused on Phil, how complete he made me feel. How he could say one thing and send sweet chills down my back. I grinned before coming to the realization.

I, Daniel Howell, had it bad for Phil.

And I don't think ignoring it anymore will help.

**YAY! SO THAT WAS CUTE AND AWKWARD. I LAUGHED SO HARD THINKING OF THEM LIKE THIS. I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED IT BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER SO FAR. AND HEY, EVERYTHING IS LINKING TOGTHER NOW! YOU HONESTLY THOUGHT I WOULD JUST LEAVE THE DREAMS BEHIND? REVIEWS OF ALL KIND ARE LOVELY, THAT IS ALL. LOVE YOU GUYS! -Theivydaggers**


	7. Oh God I'm Sorry

**What is this? Is this a new chapter? YES! I had this chapter on my mind and I just HAD to get it down because, well, my brain would hate me if I didn't. This is another sad chapter guys, so that's the warning. It seems like every happy chapter I have there's a sad chapter to match it...why brain, why? -Theivydaggers**

**Phil's POV:**

_Dan's arms restrained me as he straddled me in only his boxers. I ran my hands over his sensitive stomach and he squirmed with pleasure, throwing his head back and moaning my name. He lay down on me, our bodies entwined, our hands roaming, our skin touching. He bit his lower lips and kissed me, sending fireworks in my head. It felt so good, so incredible, so soft and warm, so perfect. I moaned into the kiss, blushing slightly. Dan pushed his tongue into my mouth and roamed, trying to catch a taste of me. He tasted sweet, he smelt of musk and sweat and his hair smelt of sweet almonds. I groaned underneath him, shaking as he touched where ever he pleased. All I needed was him. But then something felt wrong. Dan was crying. Why was he crying? It got louder and louder, blood started falling onto my body, all his healed scars breaking and covering me with warm, metallic smelling blood. I screamed and he cried harder. "DAN!" _

I woke up in cold sweat, shaking considerably, my cheeks were covered with salty tears and some droplets hung heavily on my long eyelashes. I kicked around in my bed, the mixture of sweat from pleasure and pain coating every sheet. I looked around my dark room. Something was off. I never woke from a dream like that. My body felt uncomfortable in the suddenly stiff clothes that clung to my skin. I let out a shuddering breath and got up, stumbling slightly over the tangle of sheets and blankets. Everything felt to bloody hot, to stuffy. I took off my shirt and looked at my chest. My nail marks roamed raggedly over my chest and a few were bleeding. I cried out in utter pained confusion and cupped my head in my hands, desperately trying to calm myself down. When I could finally breathe properly I listened. A muffled noise came from somewhere in the house.

"Oh god...Dan."

I sprinted out of my room and opened his door harshly, surprised that it was unlocked. Dan was curled in a ball on his floor sobbing hysterically, his voice harsh and raw, his eyes screwed shut in pain, his wails loud and heartbreaking. He seemed to be yelling nothingness, but then I focused onto what he was saying.

"Bad Dan, bad Dan, stupid, pathetic, bad Dan, DIE! DIE! DIE! OH GOD DIE! I NEED TO DIE. PLEASE LET ME..." He seemed to be completely unaware of my presence. There was no stopping the tears that ran heavily down my face as I watched the man I cared for so deeply lash around in pain. I noticed he was holding onto his phone tightly, clinging onto it like it was the only thing grounding him. That must be the cause of it.

"Die...die...die...bad Dan...Weak Dan..."

I tried to pry his phone from his fingers, but Jesus, he had a firm hold on it. My sweaty palms were really quite pathetic.

"Please Dan...Please let me see..."

"No...no no no no no." He curled up tighter but his hands were weakening. This was all I needed though. My thin fingers pried the phone from Dan's grip, and he shuddered and cried harder when I got it off him. Slowly I looked at the phone.

_6 New messages from: Unknown number_

_15 New chat messages_

_3 missed calls from: Unknown number._

My hands were shaking. Who ever said anything to him had resorted him to well…the man before me withering on the floor. I took a weak breath before looking at the phone, silently thanking that it was already unlocked. I went through the messages.

Michelle

Mi-fucking-chelle.

I couldn't focus on the words as I angrily scrolled through. The words I saw bounced around my brain painfully; it felt like I was holding something evil, something deadly in my hand.

**FAGGOT**

**WEAK**

**EMO**

**DYKE**

**FAILURE**

**NO LOVE**

**UGLY**

**DIP SHIT**

**JUST DIE**

**GO CUT**

**NO ONE CARES**

**EVERYONE HATES YOU**

The words seemed to crawl under my skin. I felt dirty, unclean reading them. I shook from anger, from pain, from fear. Michelle. I wanted to rip out her throat. Break her fingers. I felt rage rippling through me. So white, so clean, so pure. Pure unbottled rage at the person who did this to Dan. I took a breath.

_Stay calm. Dan needs calm right now, not rage._

I slowly went onto Facebook. There were messages to Dan's friends as 'he' called them horrible things. Most were sent to me, trying to get me to leak secrets to Michelle. Others were to Chris, Pj, Carrie and Alex. The only one that had not kept their cool was Alex, raging at him for calling him horrendous things. All the others simply typed 'You are not Dan, Fuck off.' It was awful. I didn't know Michelle had managed to get into his bloody FACEBOOK. I quickly changed the password to something only I could know. That would at least stop her for a while. I went through the messages, apologizing and explaining the situation as vaguely as I could. Alex sent his apologies and everyone else sent their love.

I scrolled onto his page to see he'd lost at least 100 likes and that there was horrible statuses made by 'him'. I sent a quick status out on his page simply saying:

"Hey Danosaurs and Phillions. This is AmazingPhil. Dan has just been hacked and I just want to say sorry for what the horrible person said. I hope you're fucking proud."

The response was incredible. 90% were shaming the hacker. The other 5% saying sorry for unliking and the last couple saying they were taking screenshots because I swore. I blocked Michelle's number from his phone and put it down.

I hadn't seen all the texts to Dan, but I'd seen enough. I looked down at Dan who was still sobbing loudly, choking on his own tears as he whimpered on the floor. I touched his back gently with my hand, he started calming down. I rubbed soothing circles into his shoulders, whispering to him how strong he was and how it would all be ok. He shuffled over so he was cuddling into my body, his breathing soon becoming less ragged and hoarse. I felt his shaky, sweat arms slip around my bare waist, his head against my beating chest.

"Phil…"

"Shh, it's ok Dan. I'm here. I've got you. Don't cry, I'm here." He whimpered slightly into my chest and moved so he could wrap his legs around my hips, holding onto me like a koala. I smiled sadly into his hair, noticing how hard I had been crying as well. Shakily, I got up and carried him into his bed. He held onto me and would not let go.

"Dan…"

He whimpered in acknowledgement, raising his tear filled eyes to meet my own. He was so beautiful. Even when crying, he was gorgeous. His thick dark brown lashes filled with sparkling tears. His cheeks damps and shimmering as the weak moon light shone through his window. His hair messy and untidy from thrashing and rolling on the floor. He had only his black pajama bottoms on and I could feel his heart thudding loudly in his chest.

"Did you cut Daniel?"

He hesitated and shook his head to say no. I didn't believe him for a second.

"Daniel…"

He nodded, tears falling quickly sown his cheeks. He pointed gruffly at his legs. My brain was numb, my body didn't even think what I was doing could mean. I rolled down his pants from the waist and he froze, unsure how to respond. I looked at his thighs, trying desperately not to focus on his bulge instead. The legs were covered in messy red cuts, deep and painful. I rolled his pants back up and stared at him.

His eyes were as wide as tennis balls, his lips shook slightly. He looked so utterly out of it, so dead and empty. I looked into the deep chocolate eyes that I could swim in. That had clouds of fog over them. I slowly held his chin with my hand.

This is the man I want in my life.

This is the man I want to hold and be there for.

This is the man I want to understand, to help.

This is the man I want.

My head moved forward involuntary, my eyes closed and my hand dragging Dan closer to me. I knew this was wrong, but fuck it, it felt so god damn right. I crashed my lips into his, his tears mingling with mine as I tried desperately to tell him all my emotions with a kiss. Anger, pain, sadness, joy, they all needed to be shown. I kissed him desperately, begging him to kiss me back. And after a while of him being a wax figure, he kissed back with passion, his hands running through my hair and tangling through my locks. I felt his warm breath, the taste of his salty, tear coated lips. The feel of his body pushing into mine, begging for me to know; _I need you._

His tongue slid smoothly against my bottom lip, as he continued kissing with every ounce of emotion he had in his fragile body. I gained him entrance and felt his tongue rub against mine, every twirl and movement he did was magic to me. He tasted like mint; his teeth still had the minty after taste of his toothpaste. I moaned into the kiss as he deepened it, pushing against me and moving his hands through my hair. This kiss was more than I could ever hope for; So much better than my dreams. He groaned into my mouth and grinded into me, wanting more. My hands ran down his back, squeezing the skin gently. Maybe he liked me. Well he obviously didn't hate me since he was snogging my face off. I moaned louder into the kiss, feeling a warm, tingling feeling throughout my body.

I never wanted this kiss to end, but eventually had to break away for air. I looked over him and suddenly I was filled with shame.

I had just taken advantage of my best friend, the guy of my dreams, the one I care for most. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to be used. I shouldn't have done that. He's going to regret that in the morning and hate me forever. He probably only kissed me because he was desperate for companionship. I felt sick. No. How could I do this? How could I do this to Dan?

"I'm…I'm so sorry Daniel…" I threw myself off him and he stared at me; hurt, confused, rejected. I felt shame fill me in a cold, clammy embrace. I ran out of his room, tears flowed out of my eyes in hot rivers. I'm horrible. I should have waited. He hates me now. I heard him call my name but I just kept running, running out of my apartment, running down the stairs, running into the cold street, letting the cold winter air of Manchester wrap around my skin. I ran on and eventually collapsed at a seat in a park. I cried until my sides hurt, until it hurt to breathe, until I felt like I was choking on my own tears. I looked up at the night sky and screamed.

Oh god I'm so sorry Dan…

**Ok. That was cruel of me. Making you all happy cause they kissed and then breaking your Phan hearts. That was horrible. Ok, I'm going to go cry. Sorry –Theivydaggers.**


	8. To the Bedroom?

**Heya fans! Whoa, awesome response on chapter 7! I can't believe it, I have so much fun writing for you guys, and it just makes my day to get reviews from you guys. What's been happening in my life? Applied to admin a new page on Facebook called 'Danosaurs :3', doing freaking astronomy, thinking of ideas for THIS story and hanging out with my best mate; Kyle. Love you more than Dan loves Phil's mum! –Theivydaggers**

**Dan's POV:**

"PHIL!"

The slam of the door confirmed his departure. I rest my head in my hands, my head warm against my ice cold hands. How did that even happen? One minute we were kissing and the next minute he ran away from me.

Good job Dan, you always manage to ruin every good thing that happens to you.

I let out a long sigh, running my fingers along my damp, numb lips. We kissed. I kissed him. No, he kissed me. Oh who the hell cares? When we kissed, I felt thing I had never felt with a girl. It was like...flying; Soaring through the peaks of joy with the man of my dreams.

I let a single tear slip from my eye. I ruined everything.

My eyes darted to my bedside table, the still bloody razor sitting there, gleaming in the soft moonlight. It would be so easy. I shuffle over and pick it up, feeling the sticky red gloop on my fingers. It was amazing something so small, so light, so fragile, could inflict so much damage. I bit my lower lip.

So easy...

No.

I put it down with a shuddering breath and lie down, my sweaty hair sticking to my forehead. My mind replayed the kiss. He started it. He kissed me. So why did he leave? Maybe he's never coming back. Maybe he's left me here to wallow in the dreary, lonesome world that is my mind.

I don't deserve this.

Anger bubbled inside me, burning my innards. It boiled in my gut, my stomach. It was begging me to pay attention to it.

How dare he? He starts the fucking kiss probably just to mess with my muddled emotions then runs away from me? Who the fuck does he think he is. You should NEVER do that to someone, let alone your best mate. I started grinding my teeth in anger, my fists clenching and unclenching. I wanted to yell at him. Tell him I hated him and didn't need him.

But that would be a lie. Such a ridiculously huge lie.

I close my eyes and cry. I don't sob. But I cry. I wish I could have Phil here, nurturing me like he had been mere minutes ago. But obviously he hates me. That will not happen.

I throw myself over in my bed, letting my pillow catch my tears. I'm pathetic. Look at me for fucks sake, a grown man crying into his pillow like a pathetic, love struck teen. He's probably going off to tell PJ how stupid I was. This was all a game. I choke back a sob. This is his fault.

Slowly, I feel sleep nipping at the edges of my mind. I close my eyes with my last thought playing through my head; Phil kissing me.

I wake up quickly to a loud noise, shooting upright in my bed and hitting my head on something.

"Ah fuck!" I look around for my clock. 4:15 Am. Who the fuck would be knocking on the door at this time? My logical side of the brain tells me not to answer it.

Sadly, I've never been one to follow logic.

I stand up unsteadily, my left leg numb from sleeping in a strange position. Using my phone as a flashlight, I stumble through the hall to the front door. I open it slowly and nearly gasp.

The person in front of me is tall, thin and has ebony black hair. Their hair is windswept and face covered with dried tears. Phil smiles weakly at me, his body is shivering and frozen. At first, relief floods through my eyes. But then...anger. Red as blood, wild as fire.

"What the fuck do you want Phil?"

"Dan you have every right to be angry but..."

"Yeah, you're right Phil! I do have every right to be fucking angry at you! You kissed me then RAN off? You didn't explain why, just left me in my room alone and confused after all the shit I've already been through today! What the fuck Phil!" I knew I was raising my voice, in fact, I was close to yelling. Words just rolled of my tongue, dipped in venom and then spat out at Phil's face. His face was shocked, hurt at what I was saying. He hasn't seen me this angry before.

He kinda looks like a fish, opening and closing his mouth but no sound coming out. I would laugh, but given the situation, I bit my tongue. I glared at him, feeling the anger that I had, subside slowly as I stared into his crystal blue eyes. Sighing, I opened the door wide enough for him to come in.

"Well come in, it's your house. Plus you look like you're about to get pneumonia or something..."

Phil gazed into my eyes, many emotions passing through his. Thankfulness, empathy, sadness. They all just swam around his eyes like whirlpools. I sighed and closed the door.

He sat down on the couch, shivering. What an idiot.

"Did you seriously run out of the house shirtless, at night, in the middle of winter in freaking Manchester?"

"Uhm...yes."

"You're an idiot."

"...yeah I kinda am..."

I sighed and walked over to him pulling him into a hug. His skin damp and cold against my warm skin. He smelt like earth, water and dirt. I grinned into his spiky hair as he cuddled into my chest, making me slightly damp in his process of moving around.

"I'm still angry at you, but I'm glad you're back." I cooed into his ear. He shook.

"Dan I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ran out on you like that. It's just; I didn't want our first kiss to be like that, like I was taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state. You're right, by running out I was the hugest cunt in the world, but I don't hate you Dan. I just felt bad that I might have taken advantage of you, and that you might have only been kissing me because I was just...there."

"Phil...you dummy." He pushed off me and looked into my eyes confused. I laughed.

"If a grandma came into my room and comforted me when I was sad, do you think I'd snog her? If Carrie was there would I do the same? Alex? Charlie?

Phil shook his head at every suggestion I made.

"Then why would you think that about yourself you numpty?" He shrugged into my chest and I laughed. Even though I was still angry at him, everything just felt so much better when he was around. He looked up at me and bit his lower lip, his eyes staring intensely into mine.

"Uhm...Phil?"

"I am going to make it up to you, right...now."

"Phil...NNG!" Phil moved closer and pressed his lips firmly into mine. I froze for a moment, before adjusting to the coldness of his lips against mine. His hands ran up and down my sides, pushing him harder into me. I groaned into the kiss, opening my mouth and letting him me harder, letting his tongue roam my mouth. He moved over so he was sitting on me, straddling my hips and grinding into them. I groaned louder, his hands getting bolder, running roughly over my chest, roaming down to my arse. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to nibble his neck. He wasn't expecting it and let out a squeak before moaning in pleasure. I sucked and bit, leaving my mark on his body.

"Oh god Dan..."

"This like your dreams Phil?"

"Not quite..." Phil's eyes were glazed over with lust and greed he bit his lower lip and pulled me up with him. I found out, with not too much surprise, we were both hard as rocks."

"Phil..."

"Let's go to the bedroom..." He panted heavily into my ear, his breath sending pleasant tingles down my spine. I nodded and followed him to his room.

This will be fun...

**HOLA! SO, THIS CHAPTER IS LEADING INTO SMUT! BE AS EXCITED AS DAN! YAAAY! LOVE YOU ALL, REVIEW AND FAVORITE, YOU KNOW THE DRILL! -Theivydaggers**


	9. Thinks Get a Little Steamy

**Hey there! So this chapter will be MOSTLY smut, so if you don't like smut, don't read (Though come on, who DOESN'T like smut?). I suggest you miss this chapter if you don't like smut but that means you'll be waiting for progress for awhile. Anyhow, let's do this!**

**Actually you know what I really want to do?**

**Phil's mum. –Theivydaggers**

**Phil's POV:**

"I hope you know...I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do." Dan laughs into my ear as he says it, shaking his head to the side. He has no idea how his laugh drives me crazy. How is confident in the situation? I'm nearly pissing myself but I put on a confident facade. We were going to do this. We were actually going to have sex with each other.

Oh. My. Gosh.

"Follow my lead..."

"Wait, you've had sex with a man Philly? How come I didn't know about this?" His face changed from joking to mock surprise. I laughed.

"Let's just say 18th birthdays get a bit rambunctious after a few drinks."

"You little..."

"Shush Daniel."

"It's a bit weird isn't it? Never thought I'd have sex with my best MALE friend..." He says, knotting his eyebrows together forming a crease on his forehead. "I think...I might be bi."

"You don't fucking say Daniel." I roll my eyes as he gasps when I swear. I shove him in the chest playfully and he smirks pulling me into a kiss. We are standing in my bedroom, trying to get our head around the fact what we are about to do. This could very potentially ruin our friendship. Then why was I going through with you ask. Simple;

I want nothing more than to shag him. And he seems up for it.

I pull his face towards mine, our lips fit like puzzle pieces, perfect for one another. Stumbling, refusing for our lips to break, I push him onto the bed, the springs creaking slightly with both of our weight being put on the old mattress. His hands run along my back, before slyly sliding over my body, running over my abdomen. I groan lightly at the feel of his warm hands against my slowly heating skin. He grins into the kiss and slides his hands up to my chest. I open my mouth as his tongue and mine slide in a smooth pattern against each others. He tastes vaguely like mint.

My mouth broke away, trailing feather light kisses down his jaw line and down his neck. He moans slightly as I bite at a pressure point, before groaning loudly when I start sucking at the skin, feeling it bruise against my lips.

"I thought you hated people touching you neck Dan..." I murmured before licking his collar bone, earning a deep groan.

"It's...ahh...sensitive are...aahh!" He groans and flips me over, wanting to be the one leading. With slight hesitation, he slips off his shirt, revealing his lean figure and 'V' line. I practically gawk at him before he blushes slightly, the colour spreading down to his neck.

"God Dan you're...beautiful." He grins, seeming less tense and lowers, positioning himself over my pelvis before grinding into it. I groan, my pants becoming uncomfortably tight as he continues. I sit up slightly, looking into Dan's dark chocolate brown eyes. Dan stops and I watch as his eyes travel up and down my body, widening. He grins and pulls me into a rough kiss, before breaking off quickly and kissing my neck.

I can't even describe how good it felt. It was even better then my dreams, but then anything my mind could ever fathom. His crotch grazed against mine as he bit my neck, and I let out a deep, animal like groan. He laughs that sweet yet hearty laugh of his.

"You alright there Phil?"

"Pants are getting a bit tight actually..."

"Need help?"

"If you don't mind that would be wonderful..."

"Alright, just after this..."

His head lowered onto my chest, nipping, licking, kissing all over. I moaned quietly as he drew circles around my nipple. He moved away and bit at my sides, sucking and leaving his mark. I groaned his name quietly and he grinned against my skin.

"What was that Phil?"

I blushed and he bit hard into a sensitive part of my sides.

"DAN!"

"That's better."

He presses himself against me, chest to chest. I wrap my arms around his hips as his hand slide down to my pants, his hands dancing around the hem before pulling them down. It felt so much better to be out of those bloody things. He winces as he moves.

"What's up?"

"Why on earth did I wear such tight Pyjamas today? He groaned in annoyance and I chuckled. Realizing this might be my only opportunity to be the leader I flip him over and He raises his eyebrows at me. I could literally feel the lust that flooded through my body as I sat on his hips, my slender fingers sliding under the waist of his pyjama bottoms. His breathing hitched, his eyes fluttered closed, his hands squeezing my waist gently.

"Please...just do it Phil."

I tried to do my best sexy face, biting my lower lips and everything. But who knows, I might have just looked ridiculous. My hands slid under his Pyjamas, feeling the bare skin of his hips underneath. He groaned underneath me and I pulled them down in a clean movement. My eyes practically just stared at his member.

"Fuck Dan..."

Dan raised his head slightly to look at where I was staring and blushed.

"Didn't your mum ever tell you it's rude to stare at people Phil?"

I slid off my pants and we both just kinda stared at each other, absorbing the fact we were staring at each other's naked bodies. He's beautiful. I shuffled closer to him, feeling adrenaline pump through my body as our bare flesh tangled against one another's. He groaned, grabbing onto my shaft. I let out a deep moan in return. He plays around a bit, one had squeezing my arse and the other running slowly up and down my member. I threw my head back in pleasure, groaning and mumbling his name softly. He sped up, slowed down, sped up again. He was driving me crazy.

"Dan…please."

He leant over to my ear and whispered "Screw me." before nibbling at my lobe, dragging it down slightly with his teeth.

I bit my lower lip, my heart ramming against my chest. My eyes fluttered closed and I nodded. I knew he was grinning when he flipped himself over. Gently, I opened my eyes, staring at the perfect body of the man in front of me.

"You have the body of a god you know that Dan?"

"I **AM** a god!" He said, causing me to laugh. I reached into my bedside table and put on some lube; first on me then for him. Slowly, I pushed myself in. He tensed up and yelped.

"Ow. Fuck that hurts Phil. Ow…"

"Just relax, it'll get better." I murmur, rubbing circles on Dan's shoulders. Slowly, oh so slowly, he relaxed. I started slow, not wanting to rush this. He started groaning in pleasure; his voice was a total turn on. I groaned as I sped up, the feeling was so mind blowing. Better than any dream. My left hand grabbed his member, stroking in time with the thrusts. I managed to find a good spot, causing him to yell my name as we went.

"PHIL! Oh god Phil!"

"Uh…Dan…you feel so good. Ah!"

"PHIL! PLEASE PHIL!"

I felt like I was flying. I couldn't focus, my yells and Dan's seemed to blur together. I felt almost a burning energy starting in my stomach the spread through my body. I knew we were both close, it would just take that little more to push us both over the edge. I thrusted one more time into his prostate and we both yelled, I groaned loudly as I felt him come into my hand. I collapsed on top of him, my body shaking, my head felt dizzy and I felt so blissful.

"That…that was different to what I've experienced." Dan managed to Pant, rolling over in the bed. His face glazed with pure bliss, his hair sticking up in all directions. Sweat coated his chest and he panted heavily. I smirked.

"You have sex hair."

"WHAT? DO NOT!"

"Yeah, you kinda do."

"…Shut up…."

"I'd give you a full 10 out of 10!"

"Eh, a solid 5 and a half." He said smirking at my reaction. I picked up my pillow and slammed it in his face.

"JOKING! 10! You get 10! Calm your tits!" He started laughing as I continued to hit him, until I was too tired to anymore. I collapsed onto his chest instead, focusing on his steady heartbeat. I sighed in happiness and he chuckled, combing my hair with his fingers.

"Hey Phil…"

"Yeah Dan?"

"I quite like you."

"I quite like you too Dan."

And with those slurred words leaving my lips, I snuggled into his chest; his arms wrapping around my body, and fell asleep.

**YAY! SEXY TIMES! I tried not to make this whole chapter smut, and also tried to make It as realistic as possible. Notice they didn't say the 'L' word? Yeah, that's because I highly doubt they would L...love each other after they shagged for the first time. ALSO; I never wrote Pj for Pyjamas, because, now every time I say Pj I think of Kickthepj. Imagine that? I'm wearing Pj ;) Please review and favourite; it gives me hope in this story. Big shout out to all the fans like NeverlandNat who have stuck with me since the start of this story! Mwah! -Theivydaggers**


	10. Pj

**Hey lovely Phans! I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile, we have HEAPS of exams and tests at the moment and I was falling behind in math (Bloody ratio...), so I decided I shouldn't update till I felt I understood math and stuff. Yep. So this chapter will be quite awkward BUT PJ WILL BE IN IT. YAY! The next chapters will be sadder. I am sorry!-Theivydaggers**

**Dan's POV:**

My eyes flutter open slowly, my body slightly shocked at feeling the body of another human against me. I felt their warm skin pressed against my own, their body sprawled into mine. Their raven black hair covering my chest as they breathed in slowly and deeply whilst sleeping. I smiled slightly.

"Hey Phil, you awake?" I whispered into his ear. He groaned and nuzzled into my chest, not moving. I chuckled to myself.

I smirked as I remembered the events of last night. God that was amazing. Who knew Phil could be so animal in the bedroom? I stroked my fingers through his hair while I thought. I didn't feel regret about anything. It had felt...right. Like it was meant to happen, like it was bound to happen anyway.

Slowly Phil started to stir. His eyes flickered open and when he saw me, he blushed deeply.

"Morning my lovely." I said cheerfully.

"We had sex."

"Yes we did."

"I can't believe we had sex..."

I laughed as he gasped, opening his eyes wide.

"Oh my Daniel! How dare us!" He slapped me lightly in the chest and I lost it laughing, moving around slightly and then wincing.

"Jesus Phil, what did you do?" I moaned, causing his normally ivory skin to flush pink.

"Sorry..." He mumbled hiding his face in my chest, causing me to laugh. I checked the time on the clock as he nuzzled into my chest, kissing at my bare skin. 12:00pm. I sighed, knowing I should get up. I could lie here all day though. With this beautiful man I could be satisfied doing nothing, as long as I was with him. There was a loud pounding on the door. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Phil.

"Did you invite anyone over?"

"I don't think so..." He muttered, his eyebrows knitting together in concentration as he bit his lower lip trying to focus. God he's adorable. He looked back up at me shaking his head. "No, I don't think I did. Can you go answer it?"

I nodded and pushed him off me playfully. He made a sort of squealing sound and I laughed hard. Sliding into my track pants thrown on the other side of the room, I did a sort of awkward limp to the door. Of course my brain didn't take in the fact there was a hickey on my neck, my hair was messy, I was walking funny and I had a stupid grin on my face. No, it had to remember that AFTER I opened the door.

After I had opened the door to Pj.

"Hey Dan I...oh. Jesus Dan, greet me after you've had sex why don't you?" He rolled his eyes and face palmed.

Fuck.

My cheeks grew scarlet as I looked down at myself. I looked back at Pj to see him giving me a 'Want to explain yourself?' look.

"I did not have sex." My voice an octave higher than normal and my cheeks burned furiously. Pj looked me up and down and smirked. He poked at a hickey on my neck causing me to yelp.

"Uh huh, whatever. Mate you have hickeys all over your neck and chest, you have sex hair, and you honestly expect me to believe you weren't shagging someone before I came here?"

I didn't feel like my cheeks could get any redder.

I was wrong.

"Aren't you going to let me in? Or is the lucky lady still in there?" Pj raised his angular brown eyebrows and a smug look crossed his face. I look awkwardly at my feet.

No lady but...

Phil, for the love of god do not come out.

"Come in." I shuffled out of the way, wincing as I moved. Dammit Phil.

"Dan, why are you walking like a penguin?" Pj looked me up and down before blushing, his eyes going wider then I thought possible. He coughed awkwardly, looking away. I felt like digging a hole and drowning in a pool of my own shame. Seriously, out of all the times for Pj to turn up, he chooses the one day after I had my first homosexual sex. Why? **Why**?! It's always me that stuff like this happens to. I blushed and looked away, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly. The tension in the room was so thick; you could cut it with a knife.

"So...you're gay?" Pj raised his head to look me in the eyes, his cheeks were flushed but he looked hurt. Probably thought I was keeping things from him. My eyes grew wide and my mouth started talking before my brain could think.

"NO! Yes? No! Bi...I think...maybe." I groaned inwardly, putting my face into my hands and cursing myself as I felt hot tears trickled out of my eyes into my hands. I let out a shaky breath, trying to control myself. "I don't know." I finally muttered. I sat down on the couch, crying silently. This was pathetic.

Pj scooted next to me and pulled me into a loose hug. It felt weird hugging other guys after Phil. It felt unnatural. I pushed myself out of his grip and he looked at me with emerald green eyes.

"So you don't know where you stand sexuality wise?" He said quietly, his piercing green eyes sparkling slightly as the morning sunlight hit them. I raised my head slowly and bit my lip. I thought I knew. I shook my head at Pj, my fringe accidently hitting me in the eye causing me to yelp. Pj chuckled a smooth, deep laugh. I liked his laugh so much. I pouted as he continued speaking

"No as in you don't know or no as in you do know?"

"I do know."

"And?"

"I'm bi." I smile genuinely at him and he pulls me into a bear hug, ruffling my fluffy hair.

"It's pretty obvious mate. Anyway, I fully support you." He grinned a toothy grin, showing off his beautiful pearly white teeth. He looked at my neck and smirked before prodding it. I yelped as a sharp pain spread through my body.

"Don't!" I playfully swatted at his hand but he caught it and laughed. He leaned easily back in the couch, his body open and welcoming. He was attractive, but I just didn't feel what I felt with Phil. That spark.

Fucking hell, that lightning bolt.

"So Dan...who's the lucky...MAN." Pj waggled his eyebrows suggestively and I blushed and looked away, muttering under my breath. He chuckled and scooted over.

"Come on...tell me!" He started hitting my shoulder and whining like a 5 year old. I laughed and pushed him away and smirked slightly.

"You are way to interested in my sex life for your own good Peej." I winked at the end causing him to erupt in fits of giggles, wiping the tears forming in his eyes. Watching him there I laughed at his reaction, joining in. Suddenly I heard heavy footsteps in the hall and stopped laughing, my eyes widening in terror. No. Phil, do not come in. I closed my eyes and cringed.

He came in.

"Dan are you coming back to b...Oh. Oh. Uhm. Hi Peej." Phil's cheeks blushed furiously and he turned quickly away to try and avoid Pj. Pj laughed and yelled at him.

"Come back here Lester! I want a hug!"

Phil slowly came back in focusing on the floor. When he finally walked up to Pj, I felt nauseous. Oh god. Pj stopped laughing and took in his appearance. His normal neat black hair was wild and stuck up everywhere. His chest covered in bright red marks and his neck adorned with a deep crimson one. His pants were lose and hung around the low of his hips and his eyes were glued at his feet.

Pj's Head looked Phil up and down, then looked at me, then back at Phil. My cheeks felt hot, my whole body was screaming for me to run away from the situation. This is bad. This is very bad. Pj's brows furrowed and finally it all clicked together. His eyebrows shot up his face and his mouth slung open, standing there gawking at both of us. I felt increasingly uncomfortable under his gaze. Pj ran his hand through his curls and coughed awkwardly, looking away from us.

"Well...this just got incredibly awkward didn't it?" He said, laughing nervously

Fuck. My. Life.

**HEY GUYS! SO I DRAGGED PJ INTO THIS! I HOPE YOU ALL DON'T MIND TO MUCH. I WANTED THEM TO BE OUTED SOON, AND THIS SEEMED LIKE THE PERFECT WAY TO DO IT. I'M REALLY SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER IS SHITTY, I'M HAVING A LITTLE WRITERS BLOCK AT THE MOMENT, BUT IT'LL GET BETTER. YAY! ANYHOW, FOLLOW AND LEAVE A COMMENT. IT REALLY DOES HELP. I READ EVERY SINGLE ONE ^_^**

**LOVE YOU ALL! - Theivydaggers**

**P.s: I also have a YouTube channel. You can find me at...theivydaggers**

**I'm so creative.**


	11. Michelle: Gunpoint

**Hey guys! Ok, I love this story, but I'm having trouble working out how to get it to where I want it. I'd appreciate people's opinions on what they want. This chapter is going to lead into a super sad chapter so be prepared! Anyway, thank you for taking time to read this story and my wild ramblings. Love you all-Theivydaggers**

**Phil's POV:**

The room was quiet. I was staring at my feet, avoiding eye contact at all costs. My cheeks felt hot and even though the morning was warm I had Goosebumps. My stomach felt like it was churning around, mixing everything up. I felt the need to throw up. My eyes flickered over to Dan, who seemed to be in the same situation as me. I sighed.

Dammit Pj.

"Why are you both gloomily looking at the floor? This is cute in a kinda weird way!" Pj announced cheerfully forcing me to look up. He look a tinsy bit awkward, but otherwise quite happy for us. I joined him with a shy smile and he pulled me into a bear hug, spinning me around the room. I yelped and he laughed, our voices mingling in the now not so unpleasant air. I joined in him laughing; telling him to let me go. He chuckled and placed me down on the floor, swaying a bit.

We both looked over at Dan who had a grin spread from ear to ear, showing off his pearly white teeth. He walked up to Pj smiling and Pj hugged him. I saw that he whispered something to Pj causing Pj to laugh but nod anyway. I frowned. Damn my non-existent lip reading abilities.

"So…" Pj started patting us both on the shoulder giving us cheeky grins. "Are you an item?"

I looked at Dan. Are we? I really didn't know. At first, my response would be yes. I liked him so much and wanted him for so very long. But then I remember my parents. Dads scolds and mums glares whenever I brought a boy home or told them I might be bi. Mum's shrieks of hatred. Dad's burning words that scarred me. Mum bursting into tear and telling she's rather have a dead son then a faggot. I felt my eyes watering up.

"No." I said.

"Yes."

"Uhh…"Pj stuttered looking at us both. Dan's head shot around at me.

"No?"

"It's just…"

"No?!" Dan snarled at me before running off and slamming the door in his room. I let a few tears fall when I hear his heart wrenching sobs. I broke him. I don't deserve a guy like him. There's no way he could ever fall for a guy like me. I groaned and rested my head in my hands.

_Good job Phil, snag the guy of your dreams then shatter him. Really good._

"Fuck."

"Sorry Phil I didn't mean to…"Pj started, knowing he had somehow crossed a line when asking the question.

"No, no it's ok. Can I just be alone with Dan for a bit?"

"Yeah. Yeah sure. I'll go down to the shops ok? Be back in 40 minutes?" His greens eyes scanning my face desperately trying to look for a emotion on my face. I kept it blank. I felt cold. I felt like I was living in my own little ice world where no one else could reach me. I felt like I could never feel warm again.

"Ok. Bye Pj."

Pj left and once again I was alone. My mind is a mess; a mass of stars I cannot form into constellations. I felt unstable. Walking was going to be difficult. The only thing that interrupted the silence of the house was Dan's muffled cries. I needed to see him, to hold him. To tell him it's ok.

My feet thudded down the hall and stopped at Dan's room. I sigh.

"Dan?"

"Piss off Phil."

"Dan please open up."

"Fuck you."

"You won't let me in will you?"

"Good job for fucking noticing. Bravo Phil. Bravo."

I was going to try talking to him again, but then My Chemical Romance was being pounded out of his bedroom door, drowning out all sound in the house and all arguments from me. I sigh.

This was going to take a while to fix.

I walk over to the couch and let the soft cushions wrap around me. It's times like this that I beg the world to just open up a whole and swallow me whole. Why do I ruin every good thing that comes into my life? I've had Dan for less than a week, and I've already ruined it.

Then again…I never really had him.

He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to second guess every feeling he has.

He doesn't need me.

He doesn't need such a fucked up person in his life.

I groan and rest my head in my hands, listening to the music hammering into my skull…

'I'm not ok, I Promise.'

Dan's trying to get a message through to me obviously. I listen to the words that roll off Gerard's tongue like poetry.

"**Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, its better off this way."**

Tears leaked from my eyes.

**For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took, remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?**

Those trickles of warm salty tears turned into rivers very quickly.

**I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay, you wear me out.**

Why am I such a fuck up?

There's a knock at the door, interrupting my mind from the music. I frown, my brows furrowing together as I looked at the clock. Pj said he wouldn't be here for another 35 minutes. Why on earth is he back already? I looked longingly over at Dan's bedroom, but he was still locked in there, the music drowning out all other sound.

Slowly I walk over to the door and open it.

"Peej I thought you said you'd be…"

Oh no.

"Hello Phil. Nice to see you again."

Michelle stood at the door, her long raven black hair trailing wildly down her back. Her pale skin and dark brown eyes that looked almost black just made her look more terrifying than ever. Her eyes flickered dangerously, like there was a fire shooting sparks. Her lips painted a deep ruby red and her eyes catlike. She wore a black leather jacket over a Nirvana shirt with a pair of blue skinny jeans.

"Get the fuck away from my house!"

"Is Dan home? I really want to see him." Her smile was cruel and her voice dry and sarcastic, venom coating every word.

"I'm telling you to go away before things get nasty."

"Oh I really don't think you should say that."

"Why not? It's about time someone told you you're a venomous bitch." The words were spat out of my mouth and her eyes widened and then seethed at me. Her hand dug into her jacket and pulled out something shiny.

Something metal.

A shiny black revolver, the barrel aimed straight at my skull. Her hand was steady with the gun and her voice overly sweet and sickly. My confidence faltered.

"Now, I didn't want to have to kill TWO people today. I have a hair appointment in a little while. All I wanted to do Phil is come here, kill Dan's miserable little life, have some cocoa and then get my hair done. Is that too much to ask?" She tilted her head to the side smiling at me, the gun still at my head.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

My body trembles but I put on a brave face. Sweat is coating my back and hands, my life flashing before my eyes. I was going to die wasn't I?

Well fuck.

"Come here Philly, into the hallway. Good boy. " She walked me slowly out to the hall, walking away from the door to my house. She waited until I was against the wall before she continued talking.

"Now Phillip, how do you feel?"

"Shitty."

"Why is that?"

"The last thing my best friend and love will ever remember before I die is that I had a fight with him."

"Oh?" Her eyebrows rose slightly and she smirked, her teeth gleaming in the harsh light of the hallway. I could smell her perfume that drenched her skin. It smelt like she had sex with a rosebush. She laughed lightly before continuing. "So he really is a gay faggot then?"

"Bi actually, but I'm sure to you it doesn't make much difference." My eyes glared at her, cold and harsh. She chuckled tilting her head to the side, a few strands of her hair getting stuck in her lipstick.

"No I suppose not."

I grunted slightly and she grinned, before turning to look at the door to our apartment. Her eyes focused elsewhere, I realized this might be my one shot at knocking that monster out of her hand.

Everything happened so quickly. My fist clenched and wacked her hard in the temple, causing her to swear and stumble but not drop the gun. She growled at me and hit back, her fist connecting with my jaw and making an audible crack. I was seeing stars, my jaw felt like it was on fire. I grabbed at her hand holding the gun; she was desperately trying to raise it to my head and I was trying to lower it or break her grip. We both swore and her spare hand tried to swipe at my face, one of her rings scratching my cheek, but not seriously hurting it. I kneed her in the gut and she doubled over, her finger still wrapped tight on the gun.

And then something hit me.

The bang rang in my ears as I doubled over in pain. My hand went down to my leg, my pale, trembling skin instantly covered in ruby red blood. My thigh felt like it was on fire, the burning feeling hot and intense. I cried out in pain as I felt something dig into my thigh, opening the wound more. My vision was getting clouded, everything seemed foggy. I was losing a lot of blood. I managed to focus on the figure above me, Michelle laughing and digging her hand into the wound. Dark spots figured in my vision and everything way going a bit more distant. I felt hot breath on my neck as Michelle whispered the last words I'd hear before I passed out.

"Have fun in hell fag."

And then…darkness.

**Fuck! Ok, didn't think I would make that chapter so intense but look what happened. What will happen? What's next? Well if you continue reading, you might just find out. Please review and favourite and I am sorry that this took so long to write, I just had MAJOR writers block. I love you all. -Theivydaggers**


	12. Her Backstory

**What? An update? YES! I wanted to write a little backstory for Michelle, so this is a flashback (Or like, I dunno recollection.). This is so you understand why Michelle is the way she is (aka: mentally unstable.). MEEP! –Theivydaggers**

**Michelle's POV (Flashback.):**

_Dan._

_I could say that name over and over again. He's perfect. Just look at him, he is where the word perfection originated from. Who ever made the word perfection, they were imagining Dan._

_And he's all mine._

_Let's just hope I don't ruin this._

_I adjust my navy blue sweater to cover my arms, not wanting any scars to be shown. The last thing I need is Dan knowing I'm as broken as him. We're on a double date._

_I can't fuck this up._

_I rolled my eyes at Emily's obvious attempts at coming onto my boyfriend; her hand twirling a lock of her golden hair and her big, green, doe like eyes glittering in the sunshine. She laughed overly at his jokes, made unnecessary contact and of course wore her tightest shirt that she owned. _

_You'd think she'd keep those monsters out of public with her boyfriend around but nope, doesn't matter._

_I wouldn't classify Tyler and Emily my friends. Tyler is a sleaze and Emily is definitely not the brightest bulb in the chandelier but…they're popular. They stop me from getting picked on, stop me from getting questioned, and make me protected._

_Go ahead, say I'm using them, but they're using me as well. They think I don't notice, but they just use me for lifts, food and eye candy (myself for Tyler and Dan for Em.). As much as I dislike them, I also want them to like me. I know, strange._

_But at least I have Dan. That's something they can't take away from me._

_Dan seemed a bit off today actually. He didn't make eye contact much and seemed to be off in his own little world. His swooping brown fringe covered his eye as he looked at the sky in a daydream. He's been doing this a lot lately. I looked at him from a far, watching the way the sun hit parts of hid hair making them lighter than the rest. He didn't react to anything, just stare up at the sky._

_I walked over, having to shove a Tyler and Emily who were busy shoving their tongues down one another's throats. My black boots made a 'Clip, Clop' sound as I walked over to him._

"_Dan? Are you alright?"_

_He made no response._

"_Daniel?"_

_He turned around to me, his deep brown eyes looking into my own. There was something clouding those eyes. Something bad._

"_We need to break up Michelle."_

_I didn't believe the words that leaked into my ears. My heart felt like it had been ripped out and crushed into little pieces. The one person that I ever truly cared for was leaving. _

"_What?" My voice cracked, unshed tears starting to sting my eyes. Dan looked at me and grimaced, before pulling me into a hug. He grimaced. Am I really that awful to look at?_

"_I'm sorry Michelle." He whispered before kissing my cheek and pulling away, looking over at Emily and Tyler. He sighed._

"_Tell them I said goodbye ok?"_

"_Are…you can't be serious."_

"_I'm sorry Michelle. I'm so sorry." He looked me up and down one more time before walking away. I felt…broken. So empty. Everything felt cold. Emily walked over to me._

"_Hey, where's lover boy going?"_

"_He dumped me."_

"_What?!"_

"_He…he dumped me." Tears started to spill out of my eyes and I furiously scrubbed them away. I am NOT ruining my mascara for a boy._

_Emily pulled me into a weird shoulder hug thing. She smelt overpoweringly of vanilla. It was almost nauseating. Her long, pale fingers played with my hair as she…tried to comfort me._

"_Well, we all knew it would happen eventually. People like Dan are just to good for people like, no offense babe, you. But hey! Now you can party and flirt with cute guys and feel absolutely no guilt at all!"_

_She's right. People like me don't deserve people like Dan. Perfect, beautiful Dan. _

"_Oh shit, Michelle can I borrow your sweater? I spilled milkshake on my shirt and I can't let Tyler see me like this!" Em motioned to a large brown patch on her white tank top, soaking through the fabric. I sighed and without thinking shrugged off my cardigan. Em took it off me, her long pink nails accidently scratching my hand but I didn't say anything._

_Of course when Em put on the jacket she looked ten times better in it than I ever would, the fabric hugging her curvy body in all the right places. She smoothed down a non-existent crease in her plaid skirt and looked at me._

"_How do I look?"_

"_Incredible."_

"_I know." She giggled that high-pitched giggle that made me want to rip off my arm. I forced a fake smile. She looked at me and put a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me again. But then her eyes changed, staring at my arms._

"_What…what is it?" I ask, my voice cracking._

"_Oh my god. Are those cuts on your arms?"_

_Shit. That cardigan! Fuck! Fuck!_

"_What? N-no. Of course n-not." I looked up at her but she didn't believe me for a second. She pulled away from me like I was some contaminated creature._

"_Oh my god. Freak. Emo freak!" She shrieked, pointing at me and running over to Tyler, before she whispered a hurried conversation to each other. I'm sure you can guess what it was; they weren't really quiet about it._

"_Oh my god, she took her cardigan, and like there's scars all down her arm."_

"_What a weirdo."_

"_Yeah, I know right? I don't want to be friends with an emo! The only reason I liked her around was because Dan was funny."_

"_Where is Dan?"_

"_He broke up with her. Probably saw her scars and ran. Who would date someone with scars all over them? Ick."_

"_Let's get out of here babe."_

"_Definitely."_

_And with Emily throwing me one more disgusted look on her perfect face, she and Tyler walked away. I felt like my whole world was shattering, slowly crumbling down around me. I felt bad in my own skin, like it was a bad outfit that needed to be thrown out. My pale fingers pulled out the bun in my hair letting my shoulder length raven locks fall. I didn't even notice I was crying until I tasted salt water on my lips. The tears turned into sobs, and there I was, crying in the middle of the city, sitting on the cold, concrete slab of sidewalk._

_Eventually I got home, my hair messy and bird nest like, my makeup running down my face, my green leggings covered with dirt and my shirt splattered with tears and rain. I looked, to put simply, like a walking train wreck._

_Then again, I always look like that._

_The house was dark and the smell of whiskey hit my nose, burning it slightly. I coughed and looked around, flicking on a light switch._

"_Mum?" I asked into the darkness. A grunt was all I heard in acknowledgement. Sighing, I put my keys down and ran upstairs into the bathroom. My black nails tore off my clothes and I looked at myself in the mirror._

_Disgusting. Still fat._

_This is why he dumped you._

_I climbed into the shower and let the water resemble the heat of lava as I scrubbed ferociously at my skin, the ivory colour leaving and being replaced with a raw, pinky colour. The water stinged and burned the skin, but it wasn't enough. _

_My fingers fumbled with a little box supposed to hold clean razors for shaving. Mine was full of clean razors, neat single pieces of metal. I pulled one out and ripped it across my arm, feeling the blood rise. Another. Another one. My blade was slitting every healed piece of skin, my arm coated with ruby red blood, the water mingling with it in an almost beautiful way._

_Once I had finished, there was not a spot in my arm that wasn't cut. Some were deep, but most were reasonably shallow. So many of them. Easily over 50. I felt a bit dizzy, but otherwise a lot better._

_Which is wrong. I'm disgusting._

_I turned off the shower and tip toed downstairs, my mum was drinking booze in the kitchen, her stench was awful. She looked at me and growled._

"_You've been using all the fucking hot water! I pay for that shit you know! You're going to fucking use it and not thank me for keeping you alive you ugly, ungrateful, bitch."_

_The words stung almost as much as my arm._

"_You heard me Michelle. You're poison. Venom. A venomous bitch! I wish you were never born."_

"_Mum, please…" Tears welled in my eyes and trickled down slowly. My mum was taking in my appearance._

"_Did you fucking cut yourself?" She growled, stumbling over and ripping at my arm, her calloused fingers digging into the cut flesh. I yelped._

"_Fucking attention seeker! You are so weak! Such a weak, ungrateful bitch!" She dragged me over to the table, her fingers digging into the skin. It felt awful, like acid. Her grimy fingers infecting the cuts. She walked over to the cabinet and pulled out salt. My eyes widened and I screamed._

"_NO! PLEASE, NO!"_

"_This is what happens when we get attention seeking."_

_She opened the salt and shook it over the cuts. I screamed and writhed in pure agony, the salt felt like it was burning through my flesh. The whole arm burned and ached, stinging and sore._

"_Please stop!" I was sobbing, the pain was unbearable. She laughed cruelly and stopped, only to pour her vodka on it instead. I screamed, the liquor burning every open cut. My eyes blurred with tears as I tried to break away from her. Her hand slapped me hard across the face. _

"_Don't move. You deserve this." _

_She's right. I did._

_She pressed her palm into the arm, pushing the vodka and salt deeper. I bit my cheek to not scream, but the tears fell in heavy streams. I hated my life. I want to die._

"_There. All done Michelle." She released my arm and I pulled away quickly, running up the stairs and locking my door. Not fast enough to hear her last words to me:_

"_Venomous BITCH!"_

_I had packed my bags. I was going to leave. I was running away. I had finally worked out a plan. My green duffel bag was full to the brim of the stuff I was taking with me. I slung my denim coated leg out the window and dropped down, landing hard but safely. I started walking, aiming to go to the bus station. I sat down and grinned._

_Everything would be better soon_

_I felt…stronger. So much better than usual. I looked at my duffel bag fondly, my eyes locking on the odd shaped lump in the side._

_My dad's old black revolver and silver knife._

_Why do I have these you ask?_

_Because I will kill Dan Howell for making my life the way it is. _

_If it's the last thing I do._

**Woah! Backstory! Bet you didn't think that! WOAH OH! Sorry if you want me to get on with the story, but you NEED to know Michelle's POV otherwise it's like "Why's this crazy bitch like this?" ANNNNYYYWAAY please review and favourite ^_^ it makes writing so much better! Lover you all -Theivydaggers**


	13. Do Something Right

**Don't you hate it when your computer thinks its super funny to delete everything you wrote the day before you upload it? I do. So sorry for not updating in awhile, I hate my computer. –Theivydaggers**

**Dan's POV:**

My tears rolled down my face, the hot, salty water flowing over the curves and ridges of my face and jaw. I heard the door shut. Phil's leaving.

I knew he would.

Everyone leaves.

I lean against my door, my dark hair swaying in front of my face, picking up the tears on its strands and dampening slightly, causing the tips to curl. My eyes flitter closed, the eyelids feeling heavy and sore from crying so much. I will never understand Phil. Never.

My music continues playing, drowning out all other noise in the house. Gerard's words roll in waves, desperately trying to drown the demons and voices in my mind. But I can't make them shut up. You can't drown demons if they know how to swim. You can't silence voices if it just makes them scream louder. My tanned hands clutch at my hair, pulling the locks in handfuls. The voices just kept yelling. Kept talking. It was dizzying; I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, trying to keep control.

I failed miserably.

_You're useless Dan. You're pathetic for ever thinking Phil would love you. Who would love you? Who would love someone who can't love themselves? _

All I could hear were their shouts, their scream for me to cut. To kill myself. It would be so much easier if I wasn't here. It would be simpler dead, not worrying about people and not having people constantly leave me tattered and in shreds.

Everything felt like to much, the darkness wrapping itself around my trembling body, its arms gripping at my frame, trying to crack it and seep blackness into my body. I wanted to scream, the tendrils of fear and self hate lashing at my mind. I can't take this. I can't do this.

I run into the bathroom and turn on the tap, clutching the sides of the basin so tight that my knuckles started going white. I splash my face and look at myself, my eyes red and puffy from crying. My shaggy hair hangs around my head, the fringe covering my eyes. I'm shaking slightly. Slowly, I stand up a bit straighter. I fumble through the drawers, pulling out the shining glint of metal I had grown to love.

The piece of thin metal that broke me as much as it fixed me.

I pushed firmly on my arm, breathing slowly as I drew neat lines on my wrists. The metal slit quickly, stinging and burning. It sent pleasant shivers down my spine. My wrist flowed with blood, crimson coating my trembling hands. It was dizzying, a hefty mixture of freedom and pain. But something wasn't right. Today, cutting wasn't enough. Today nothing would satisfy my pain.

Except...

My eyes flicker to the door and through the gap; I can see the large window in my bedroom. It would be simple. I can imagine the whir of wind running around my body. I can almost hear the ringing in my ears as I imagine plummeting towards the concrete ground. I make up my mind.

I was going to do it.

I went to my drawer and slipped on my favourite shirt, the one with the eclipse. I groomed my hair and checked my phone. Numbly, I sent a text on my twitter page.

_I'm sorry, I love you all. Thanks for the adventure x_

I texted the same to all my friends, I hope they understand. I hope they forgive me. My breathing was shallow and uneven. I closed my eyes to hold back tears before opening them again. Slowly, I walked over to the window in my bedroom, only just big enough for me to fit through. I unlatched it and looked down it; it was a high, terrifying drop. The people scurrying like little ants. The cars looked about the size of match boxes.

Slowly, I clambered out, my hands shaky as I squeezed my body through the thin metal gap. I stood up straight and closed my eyes. The harsh wind lashed at my face, blowing the hair around my face, smearing a tear that had leaked down my tanned skin of my cheek to the corner of my jaw. I moved my feet forward on the thin ledge; I could hear the city buzzing around me.

Here goes nothing Dan.

You're finally going to do something right.

And then I heard a gunshot.

My eyes widened in fear and I turned around, trying to locate where I heard it. Then I started to use my head. There was someone with a gun in my house. My body lunged back through the window.

"Phil?" I say, my voice barely above a whimper, I cough and say his name a little louder. "Phil?!"

I heard the cackle of laughter, loud and overly sweet, the voice dripping with hatred. I heard a shout of agony, deep and masculine. My heart quickened, the pulse pounding under my skin. My eyes widened in fear as my body gathered a sheen of sweat. I could pin point those two voices from anywhere.

"Oh god no."

Michelle had finally found me.

And she had shot Phil. She had shot my Phil.

Tears welled in my eyes, making them tingle with discomfort. I was close to hyperventilating, my breathing becoming rapid and my stomach churned with a nauseating feeling. Desperately I tried to calm myself down.

_Think Daniel. Do something right for once._

I grabbed my phone off the counter and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I looked around and pulled open the cream coloured drawers, trying to find a weapon of some kind. I grabbed the hairspray and the matches we use to light candles. That would have to do.

My fingers felt numb and useless as I jabbed at my phone, pressing 9 three times and holding it to my ear. Please, for the love of god, pick up.

'_Hello, 999 what's your emergency?'_

"There's someone in my flat with a gun, she has already shot my flatmate. Please send an ambulance and police as soon as possible." The words that came out of my mouth were said hurriedly; like I had to get them off my tongue otherwise I would forget them.

'_Ok, can you give us an address? _

Quietly, I whispered the address and all these other details that they asked for before slamming my phone shut and unlocking the door. I could hear the faint groan of pain of Phil's voice, and Michelle humming softly to herself. My body trembled and I picked up the matches and hairspray, crouching in the house and tip toeing around the corner.

I moved my head slightly to peak at the scene laid before me. I had to stop myself from crying out.

Michelle carried Phil over her shoulder before plonking him down on the couch. I saw a glimpse of his leg which was coated in red; obviously that's where he was shot. She moved around the apartment, taking in her surroundings, before moving closer to Phil. Still humming, she pulled out her revolver again and pressed it to his head. She smiled and got ready. That's when I snapped.

I threw my body at her, stumbling to the ground as we fell. The gun went off but went through the window, shattering the glass. She growled and tried to break away from me, but I was bigger than her. And I wouldn't budge.

"Daniel..." Michelle said her voice sugary and sweet. Her locks were in my mouth, I shook my head to get rid of them. "I missed you baby." She whispered as she stroked my cheek, her fingers collecting some of my tears.

"Feelings aren't mutual." I growled and she laughed, her hand trailing over my chest. She grinned and locked eyes with me, her almost onyx coloured irises flickered with fire, her body cackling with electricity. She smiled, her red lipstick slightly smudged.

_Good. At least Phil put up a decent fight._

"I heard. Apparently you and lover boy over there are a thing? Is that right Dan?" She grinned as I glared my body shaking slightly as she pushed against me.

"Shut the fuck up." I spat, my heart pounding in my chest as it tried to jump out of my skin. She smiled sweetly, her eyes darting around the place before she looked back at me.

"Hit a nerve did we?

"Maybe a bit." I murmur, her hands raking over my arms until she came across my cuts, causing me to yelp. She raised one of those perfectly curved eyebrows and smirked.

"Now you're not only a queer. You're also an emo. Feel proud Dan?" She grinned, flashing her pearly white teeth at me before she dug in her nails to the cuts, opening them up causing me to yelp.

I can't handle more of this. I can't...

The door was thrown open, police in bulletproof outfits running into the apartment. Michelle's eyes widened and she flipped out, throwing me off her as she tried to run away. Police grabbed at her arms and shackled her up, her fist and elbows trying to hit people again. She began screaming and doctors ran to both me and Phil, bringing us up and into the ambulance. Michelle's piercing shrieks echoed through the house.

"I'LL KILL YOU DAN HOWELL! I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KILL YOU!" She continued screaming, throwing her head back violently as she shrieked, her thick black tresses tangling and getting thrown messily around. A lady held onto my shoulders and steered me out of the apartment into a ambulance truck with Phil. Sirens where ringing everywhere and I was finding it hard to focus on the lady calmly trying to talk to me.

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"You're bleeding."

"That wasn't Michelle."

"Did you do this?" She picked up my arm that was leaking a steady flow of blood. I nodded slightly, only moving my head a little. She nodded and said something about cleaning me up. I just sat there as they wrapped a blanket around me. I walked slowly over to Phil and clutched his cold hand. He had a man trying to help him as much as possible. He stirred slightly when I touched him. Slowly, painfully slowly, he opened his eyes. They seemed a bit unfocused but he stared at me and smiled lightly.

"Dan?"

"Yeah Phil, I'm here. Don't worry; the nice doctors are going to fix up your leg. It's pretty gross to stare at." I smiled weakly and he laughed a little. His hand squeezed mine.

"I'm sorry Dan for walking away."

"It's ok."

"Dan I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you." His pale cheeks reddened slightly and I grinned, clutching his hand tighter and nuzzling my head into his chest.

"I'm pretty sure I love you too Phil."

And even though the first time we said we loved each other was in the loud metal casing of a ambulance after being shot at by a homicidal maniac.

Everything just seemed right.

**Awww! Awh the said it! FINALLY OH MY FUDGING GOD, JESUS ON A BOAT. So yeah... sorry for not updating in forever but my computer decided it would be fun to be a little prat. BUT I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANKYOU ALL FOR READING AND MWAH YOU ALL ARE ANGELS AND I WANNA HUG EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. REVIEWS WOULD BE LOVELY. -Theivydaggers**


	14. I Love You

**Hello my lovelies! It's time for another chapter. This chapter won't be entirely smut, but it will have some in it. I think the first part is going to be a bit sweet though. Pj and Chris will be in the first half and maybe the second. Anyway, love you all!**

**Warning: Descriptive sex –Theivydaggers**

**Phil's POV:**

I had trouble focusing, I felt groggy and tired. I groaned as my eyes flickered open, and I saw the hazy image of some people around me. Their voices sounded far away, and I was having trouble simply waking up. I groaned. They moved closer.

"Dan..." I murmur my voice croaky and husky from lack of use. I cough and swallow, trying to even out the vocal chords. My eyes open a little more and I notice some people writing down some things on a notepad. They are talking quietly, trying to not alarm me. I manage to catch snippets of what their saying.

"Passed out...gunshot...thigh...Dan...Right here...gas...pain"

"Daaan." I groaned before forcing myself up, immediately regretting it when it felt like someone hit me in the face with a brick. I groan and clutch my head, only to feel strong arms around my waist. I felt hot breath in the shell of my ear as someone chuckled.

"Careful baby, you're going to pass out again if you're not careful." Dan's sweet voice trickled into my ear, causing me to snuggle into his arms. He laughed lightly when one of the nurses 'Aww'ed us. I pushed him away slight, blinking a couple of times before I could clearly make out his face. He had a cut on his upper lip, and he looked worn out. His hair fluttered in a curtain in front of his eyes. He grinned at me, his tanned cheeks darkening slightly as I grinned back. We held each other in an embrace, just holding onto each other. My head rested on his shoulder, and I could smell soap and his cologne. It was a welcoming scent.

"Hey Dan..."

"Yeah Phil?"

I pushed him back slightly and pressed my lips onto his, a little messily because of the drug, but it worked. He kissed back earnestly, his teeth tugging at my bottom lip slightly as pulled. I kissed him with everything I had, my mouth moulding with his like two puzzle pieces fit for each other. Slowly, I pulled away, pecking him on the lips before lying back down. I smirked at his flushed cheeks and the nurses grinning, ear to ear.

"I love you."

He giggled slightly, clutching my hand in his. "I love you too Phil."

Suddenly, the door was chucked open. A very worried Pj and a very confused Chris walked in. When they saw us, Pj burst into tears and brought us into his arms. Chris was just kinda staring at me and Dan embracing with his jaw slack.

"Oh my god. I came home and the police were there and I freaked out and...Oh my god I thought you were dead I was so scared and then I called Chris and dragged him but I couldn't explain and...Thank god you're ok." Pj said this all in one breath, His tears running down his nose as we all hugged. Chris ran over and held us, before whispering in my ear.

"Now will someone, please tell me, when Phan became a canon." We all laughed, a bit tiredly, Pj's laugh was a mix of a cry as we held onto each other. Dan held my hand and gave it a squeeze before looking at Chris's happy eyes.

"I got sick of homicidal girlfriends, so I decided to see what would happen with someone with a penis instead." He said it, straight faced before breaking into giggles and nuzzling into my hair and neck, his nose brushing against the back of my ear. We all laughed, just clinging to one another for re-assurance that we were all ok.

That's of course when the grumpy doctor came in and told Chris and Peej to leave earning him a very annoyed Chris

"Oh but doctor, I had a present for you!" Chris said, holding his hands in a giddy schoolgirl manner. All the rest of us watched, biting our lips to stop us from giggling.

"You did?"

"Uh huh! Here it is!" Chris flipped him the finger and the doctor flushed a shade of crimson. You could literally see smoke coming from his ears as Chris skipped out pointing his finger at him. He started singing "You're a cunt, oh my oh my oh my, you're such a massive cunt!"

Pj strode over confidently and pretended to be ashamed. "I'm so sorry; he has a very rare medical condition. You see, he can only say what everyone else is thinking."

"Get out."

"So sorry sir, but you should understand. You're a doctor for Christ's sake!" Pj threw up his arms in a ridiculously flamboyant manner and bowed before running out of the room. The shrill giggles of Chris and his own echoing down the hallway. Dan and I grinned at each other but managed to keep a blank face when the doctor turned and faced us. He sighed and went over to me, injecting something into my leg and changing the dressing. He looked at Dan and raised a furry eyebrow.

"Are you supposed to be in here?"

"Maybe..."

"Out!"

He pouted then grumbled under his breath, walking into his own room. Before he left I swear I heard him mutter "Chris had the right idea." But no one else seemed to hear him. He turned around and grinned at me before closing the door. I smiled.

God I love him.

It had been three weeks since we first came to the hospital. Dan had been allowed to go but stayed with me instead, updating our twitters, making videos in the hospital, trying to brighten my day and just generally being a big ball of sunshine. Peej and Chris visited a lot, so did Alex and Carrie. Occasionally Jack and Finn and once Charlie came round with Alex to check up. It was really sweet and all, but I kept getting the feeling Dan was getting restless, being couped up in here wasn't doing him good. Until...

"Phillip Lester?"

"Yes?" I turn in my bed slightly, looking at the doctor who had been working with me. His greasy hair moved a bit as he tilted his head to the side to observe Dan in his 'browsing' position on the couch. He shook his head and looked at me again.

"It seems your leg is all healed up. You are free to go."

Dan literally jumped out of his seat and ran up and crashed into the doctor, pulling him into a tight hug. He released a very shaken doctor and ran to me, squealing.

"WE'RE GOING HOME, WE'RE GOING HOME!" He did a little twirl that caused me to chuckle at his childish joy. He grinned at me, showing of his perfect teeth and sending a fluttering in my stomach. I laughed and hopped out of my bed.

"Thank god we're finally going home."

The car ride back home was quiet, Dan's hand wrapping around mine as I wound myself to nuzzle his incredibly sensitive neck. He placed a peck into my mass of black hair, his breath warming the locks.

"Phil, baby?"

"Yeah Dan?"

"I know this is a bit odd to ask. But are we a...you know." He blushed a faint pink, the highs of his cheekbones tainted with colour. I raised an eyebrow at him and smirked.

"What Dan? A what?"

He took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes, those chocolate brown pools I could swim in, with faint flecks of gold and darker brown around the pupil. He smiled and squeezed my hand a bit tighter before talking.

"Phillip Lester, would you do me..."

"Yes."

He laughed and punched me lightly in the shoulder. "Shut up, let me finish." I grinned and he continued talking.

"Phillip Lester would you do me the honours of becoming my wonderful, perfect, lion obsessed boyfriend. I'll make you pop tarts if you say yes." His eyes twinkled and I grinned.

"Of course I will you wonderful man." And with that, I pushed my lips firmly into his. He gasped as I broke off, kissing his jaw line and down his neck, stopping at the hollow to cheekily dash my tongue over it. He bit his lips to not groan with the taxi driver there. He pushed me off and leaned into my ear.

"You have no idea, how much I have wanted you, ever since you said you loved me. It's been so long since someone truly loved me Phil.' His warm breath ghosted over my ear, sending pleasant tingles down my spine. "When we get home, I am going to make love to you like no one has before." His mouth wrapped around my lobe, tugging at it with his canines to prove his point. It made a warm, splendid feeling spread throughout my body.

"I can't wait." I slur my voice barely above a whisper. He looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes and nodded, before cuddling into my body.

I barely managed to unlock the door before Dan charged into me, slamming my back into a wall as he pushed me closer, his eyes flashing dangerously. He started kissing my neck, biting slightly on my Adam's apple before sucking on it, making a low groan escape my throat.

"You are so beautiful." He murmured against my flushed skin, his tongue drawing lines on the side of my neck before he bit slightly on my jugular vein. I cried out, a mixture of pain and pleasure rushing over me. My hands wrapped around his waist as he continued teasing, testing me to see how much I could take. His hands snaked into the pockets of my jeans, pulling me closer to him to we could touch, chest to chest. We could share breath, the air becoming heated and damp.

My breathing quickened, It was getting hard to focus. His mouth moved to my ear, breathing into it before nipping at the lobe, dragging it down with his teeth. I moaned loudly.

"Ahh...Dan."

"Come on, let's go somewhere more comfortable." He kissed my jaw before dragging me by my hands to his room. It's odd that a month ago, I would ever have been able to make a joke about this without Dan reacting weirdly. And now...

Well now all those jokes seem to be coming true don't they?

Slowly, Dan unlocked his door. His window was open and blowing in a cool breeze. I shivered and he pulled my closer, embracing me, before we tumbled down onto his bed. He smiled and started unbuttoning my shirt at a painstaking slow pace, straddling my hips as he did so. He started rocking his hips back and forth, causing me to arch up in pleasure and groan.

"For fucks sake Dan hurry up."

"Patience Philly. We're going to go nice and slow."

I growled in response earning a chuckle from him. In impatience I bucked my hips into his, earning a moan before he growled and caught my wrists with his hands. Practically lying on me from the waist up, he hissed and leaned next to my ear, licking it. I shuddered and he whispered.

"Do I have to tie you up Phil? Do I have to tie you up to keep you steady? Do you punishment?" His voice was husky and deep. I licked my lips and shook my head. He grinned and kissed me, passionately and aggressively. It was a mess of teeth, tongue and lips, but oh my god it was wonderful. Pulling at my lower lip as he broke off he mumbled a quiet "Good boy."

I felt a familiar clutching feeling in my stomach and suddenly my jeans started getting way to tight. I groaned and so did Dan, responding to my hardness earnestly. He grinded into my groin, tightening his grip on my hips. Quickly, he slipped off his shirt as I pulled off the remainder of mine. He lay down on me, chests touching and shaking. I groaned and flipped him over, pinning him down an kissing him with every ounce of love in my body, our tongues entwining in a strange dance, fighting for dominance. His hands rubbed up and down my chest before moving to my zipper, undoing it and tugging down my pants.

"Thanks." I mumble, leaning over and biting his neck.

"Ah...no worries." His hands tug at my jeans, pulling them down to my knees as I moved my hand over his groin, palming him through the material. He groaned and bucked into my hand, his already hard cock getting that much harder. He moaned my name quietly, pulling my hand away and unzipping himself.

"Hey. I wanted to do that." I pouted and he grinned, laughing slightly.

"Phil, if I had left that any longer I would have broken through the denim."

He shuffled out of the remainder until he was left in his trunks. Standing up, he tugged off my jeans as well to leave us both in our pants. I could make out the outline of Dan's parts through his pants. I groaned at the mere thought of it, grabbing his shoulders and pulling his body onto mine in a mess of limbs, sweat and kisses. Dan's hands trailed down from my hips, slipping into my pants and cupping my arse, squeezing it gently.

Gently, and oh so annoying slowly, he pulled down my pants till they were around my ankles. I kicked them off and lunged at him, grinding my naked body into him. He withered and squirmed underneath me until he was a hot mess. He growled and flipped me over, grabbing my hand and slipping it inside his pants, forcing me to cup him and play around. He groaned and thrusted into my palm. I moaned and pulled down his pants, his naked body lying against my own.

"Hey Phil baby?"

"Yes Dan?"

"I love you so god damn much."

"I love you t...UHH!"

Dan gave me no warning as he took me in his mouth, gagging slightly as he took every last bit. His tongue licked the underside and he started humming, sending incredible waves of pleasure throughout my body.

"Uh...oh my god. Dan. Oh god." His tongue darted out and licked over my slit. Bobbing his head in quick movements, I shook; my back arching up as my hand went to his hair, curling into his tresses and forcing him lower. I moaned as a tight feeling clutched in my stomach. His hands ran up and down my inner thighs and as he moaned onto me I couldn't help it. With a shout of warning I came, groaning and whispering words that fell into the air.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." I murmured as I rode on my high, before finishing with a shudder. Dan removed himself and clambered up next to me, kissing me on the lips whilst he held my shoulders tightly. I could taste myself on his lips and although it wasn't unpleasant, it was a bit weird. Dan made a noise that sounded like a whimper and I remembered he hadn't been relieved yet. Continuing to kiss him, my hand wrapped around his shaft, increasing pressure slowly. Go fast, go slow. Pushing him to the very edge.

His teeth sank into my lower lip as I quickened my pace, I could feel his pulse against me. It didn't take long for him to shout out.

"Phil, oh my god. Phil…ugh!" He collapsed into my shoulder, whimpering slightly before releasing himself into my palm. I wiped my hand on the sheets and wrapped my arm around him, before pulling up the sheet to cover us both as he cuddled into me.

"I love you so god damn much Phil" He murmured, his sweaty skin against my own.

"I love you too. Let's go shower."

We walked out; a separate sheet wrapped around our waists for modesty when there was a knock on the door. Dan raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"I'll answer it Phil, I'm more presentable."

I felt a bit worried though, the last time we opened a door it was Michelle. I stayed by the kitchen, leaning over to see the door and Dan. As soon as Dan opened it, I regretted it.

"Hey Da…oh mate, you reek of sex. Keep it in your pants for once mate AND PHIL I CAN SEE YOU TOO YOU LOOK EVEN WORSE OH MY GOD YOU WERE SHAGGING LIKE BUNNIES EFORE I CAME WEREN'T YOU?" Pj groaned and looked away, rubbing his eyes as both mine and Dan's cheeks flushed. Dan pulled up his sheet slightly as Chris walked in, smirking at the both of us, especially me.

"Phil looks worse than Dan. Bet he was bottom"

"Shut up Chris! Oh god Dan please tell me you're wearing pants?" Pj looked at Dan desperately only earning a cough from Dan.

"Well. We need to go shower don't we Phil. Won't be long." Dan dragged me into the bathroom against Peej's protests

"Wait, we? Don't…ugh."

Chris grinned before we left before squealing, clapping his hands together.

"PHAN IS REAL, AND REEKS OF SEX!"

Oh god.

**And that's the end of that chapter. Wow, that was some descriptive sex scene. SORRY! Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading It as much as I enjoyed writing it. Follow, review, fave. You know the drill x -Theivydaggers**


	15. AUTHORS NOTE

**Authors Note:**

**Hey guys! Now firstly I want to say I AM going to continue this story. I love writing it and I love all the fans of it. I am not dead. I have not stopped this story at all. I just would like to inform you I'm taking a little break from this story. Not to focus on schoolwork, but mainly because I've just been having a really hard couple of weeks, and I'm having enough trouble forcing myself to talk, let alone WRITE. I ****WILL ****be writing again, but I just need a bit of a breather, and I want to work out a bit more how I will continue this story. Reviews in what you want to happen would be helpful and appreciated. I read every single review you guys write, and although I might not reply to all of them, I would like to thank the ongoing support and affection. Those reviews make my day.**

**I love you all, and I hope you guys aren't feeling as bad as I am currently.**

**Stay strong my wonderful lovelies **

**Yours; Theivydaggers **


	16. It Starts as a Dream

**Hey there internet! I'm back! *Throws confetti***

**Brain: NO ONE CARES**

**Me: SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT. Anyway, I felt bad for not updating and I think I'm ready to start writing again. If it's not up to standard, I am sorry. I'm a bit rusty. I love you all and thank you for the support I received during my hard time. Let's get going.**

**Dan's POV:**

"I still can't believe you two are dating..." Chris said his eyes wide and his voice in awe and surprise. Phil and I grinned and cuddled closer to each other on the couch. "Not that I don't think it's cute or anything but it's just so...it'll take some getting used to is all."

"We get it Chris, don't worry that little head of yours" I smirked as his face change from a smile to a frown.

"Hey...I don't have a small brain!" He punched me lightly in the shoulder as we all laughed. "Dick..."

"Err...guys?" Peej's voice came through the squeals and peals of our laughter. We managed to calm down enough to try and talk properly. I was still giggling slightly and Phil nuzzled into my neck, nipping at the skin and making me squeal. "Phil!"

"Keep it PG you two..." Chris's voice said with a joking tone, rolling his hazel eyes slightly at our behaviour.

"Yep sorry." Phil pulled away from my neck and looked at Pj "What is it Peej?"

"As much as I HATE to ruin this kinda disturbing moment, I have to remind you of something...don't you have a live show in like, five minutes Phil?" My eyes widened and turned to Phil's crystal blue ones. His thoughts were easy to read, his face gave him away in an instance...

_Shit._

"OH FUCK!" Phil practically threw me off his lap and ran to his bedroom, yelling swear words as he went. I turned my head to Pj, my annoyingly long fringe covering half my face. I swear, if this hair gets any longer, I'm going to hack it all off with a machete. We both shook our head and laughed as he slid back into the lounge with miss matching socks, plonked himself down and turned on his laptop.

"Dan what are those marks on your arms..." Chris's voice echoed throughout the room, bringing different pairs of eyes onto me. Phil looked sympathetic, Pj looked scared, and Chris looked hurt. I sighed and turned away slightly.

"That's a story for a different time guys. Not one I want to talk abo..." Pj's huge, gangly mass threw itself on me, pulling me down into a hug. Chris jumped on top as well and I started laughing. I just kept laughing. That heavy, overpowering laughter that took over your whole body. It seemed it was contagious, as Chris started chuckling at my random outburst of giggles. And then Pj was laughing as well. And then Phil. We were all just laughing; tears streaming down our faces as we this overwhelming joy just wash over us in a warm blanket.

"WE LOVE YOU DANIEL!" Chris and Pj both shouted. I laughed and hugged them both.

"I LOVE YOU MORE. NOW YOU TWO GET OFF MY BOYFRIEND!" Phil's voice spoke above everyone else and, still chuckling, Chris and Peej jumped off. I raised a slender eyebrow at Phil as he finished setting up his webcam and signed in to his younow. He simply stuck a tongue out at me and continued with his job. With one more readjustment of his perfect black hair, he clicked record and started talking.

"Hey guys how you doing! You know, I almost forgot I had a liveshow today. Thank god for Pj hey?" He grinned and gestured towards all of us to sit down. The comments exploded in seconds. But they weren't about Phil, oh no, they were about me. My neck in particular…

_**Alicat1817 says: OMG IS THAT A HICKEY ONYOUR NECK DANIEL?!**_

_**Megan says: I spy with my little eye something beginning with SEX.**_

_**Luke says: ;)**_

_**Thalia says: Nice hickey you got their Dan. Someone gave you one hell of a night ;)**_

I felt my cheeks burning up as Peej, Chris and Phil cracked up laughing. It was like my cheeks were on fire. Losing myself, my eyes wandered over to Phil and then back to the camera. I groaned at my stupidity as the comments went wild.

_HE LOOKED AT PHIL GUYS. DID PHIL GIVE IT TO YOU DANNY BOY?_

_OMFG DOES PHIL HAVE ONE TO?_

_PHAN PHAN PHAN!_

"Everyone should just stare at Dan's neck to make him uncomfortable." Peej said laughing. His slender finger reached out and prodded me in the neck and I yelped, a sharp pain being sent through the purple bruise.

"Stop it." I growled, but Chris and Pj just smirked. Their looks were matching 'Ha-ha-motherfucker.' Seriously, those two were partners in crime. Phil grinned and I pouted. Chris smirked and grabbed Phil by his collar and pulled him more towards the centre.

"Look at his neck to! Dan may have one big one, but Philly over hear has MULTIPLE bright red ones! LOOK!" Phil's cheeks went from ivory to scarlet surprisingly quickly. Even I had to laugh at his reaction. Pj and I grinned wickedly at each other at Phil's obviously discomfort. He squirmed and tried to cover his neck, but the damage was done. Everyone had seen.

"Chris, get your freaking hands off my collar!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll bloody liquidize you before the end of the night!"

"I got Phil all grumpy. Awh." He looked at the camera and did big puppy dog eyes, earning some love from the viewers. They told Phil to apologize and Chris stuck his tongue out at Phil.

"I hate you Chris."

"I love you to."

Phil sighed and looked over at me and Pj still laughing. He frowned, a little crease forming in his forehead. "Shut up Dan. You're just as bad."

His pale hand then shot out, grabbing me by the collar and dragging me next to him. I yelped in protest as I was dragged over Chris's figure and a nearly crying Pj. Chris started reading out comments to us as Phil pulled me closer to him.

"Guys, apparently….Phil wants the D, you make a cute couple and we should play gay chicken." Chris chuckled and looked over at us groaning as Phil and I stared at each other, barely centimetres apart. I could see all the beautiful colours in his eyes, the slight flush of pink against his milky skin, the curved and grooves of his face. I nearly kissed him. Nearly. Then Pj talked.

"Oh for the love of god you two just kiss already. Sexual tension is killing me!"

"THE FANS AGREE!" Chris turned to us expectantly and grinned, his curved white teeth gleaming in the light.

"No…maybe another time." Phil said, patting my face and turning back to the camera.

_**Lana says: ANOTHER TIME? PHIL!**_

_**Mozzie says: HOLY FUCK WHERE DID ALL THIS SEXUAL ENERGY COME FROM**_

_**Kyle98 says: 'Maybe would should kiss, just to break the tension' –wise words of Homer Simpson**_

"Shut up you guys." I managed to squeak, laughing at their very bold statements. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, and swallowed as a lump formed in my throat. The fans were catching on quick. To quick. That's ok. Kinda. Fuck.

"I got an idea, let's play truth or dare!" Pj fumbled for his phone and sent out a tweet, almost immediately getting a response. Phil's hand, out of the camera's sight, squeezed mine gently. He looked at me and tried to comfort me, quietly mouthing 'Don't worry.' I smiled and felt a bit more at ease. With Phil here, nothing could go wrong.

"Dare for Chris…twerk for us baby. From…Mattsmithhavemychildren." Pj grinned at Chris and Chris groaned, standing up on the couch and facing the camera, before aggressively twerking and sitting back down. All of us laughed and patted him on the back. He rolled his eyes but smirked, yanking Peej's phone off him.

"Heeeey…" Pj pouted and glared at Chris, but all he did in retaliation was smirk.

"Truth for Pj…most awkward thing you've walked in on?"

"Well obviously Dan after he had sex with Ph…Phoebe. THAT WAS AWKWARD." Pj's eyes flickered to us and he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. My eyes widened. Jesus I'll be outed by the end of this chat if this keeps going on. Chris and Phil awkwardly joined in laughing and I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up Pj."

"It was uncomfortable!"

"You're just an uncomfortable person." He flipped me off and I laughed.

"Ok…my one Chris! What's mine?"

"Uh…well pretty much every dare has been play gay chicken with Phil…and every truth something similar. You guys want to…"

I was going to respond but Phil grabbed my collar and turned my face to him, raising his shoulders a little to signal 'Why not?' His lips crashed forward and were against mine. His teeth tugging at my bottom lips, his tongue pushing into my mouth. My eyes widened before flickering closed, my arms wrapping around his body. His tongue roamed against mine, and before I could help it, a small groan escaped my lips.

"The comments are exploding…" Chris murmured, His eyes fixed on the screen. Pj was staring at us and I could tell. I could almost feel his green eyes boring into my back. I grinned and trailed my hands down his arm, lower, and then (off camera) to his thighs. He groaned and bit my lip, tugging at it with his canines. Eventually I broke off, gasping for air. My cheeks felt way to hot, and my lips felt numb. Not to mention the uncomfortable semi I was wearing.

Phil giggled and looked down, his hair covering most of his face. I looked at the comments. Chris was right, the fans had gone crazy.

_**Emily says: OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG I'M SCREAMING. YOU TWO USED TONGUE. OMFG I HEARD THAT GROAN. OMFG PHAN PHAN PHAN!1!1**_

_**Tina says: Oh…My….Fucking…God**_

_**Livia says: THEY FINALLY DID IT. **_

_**Ty says: Did Phil…bite your lip?!**_

_**Olive says: TUMBLR GIF. FUCKING SCREENSHOT THAT SHIT.**_

"Well. That was…uh…enthusiastic." Pj stuttered slightly, avoiding eye contact.

"Hah. Dan's got a bon…"

"Shut up Chris." I hissed desperately. But it was too late, now the comments exploded with THAT. "Now look what you did." I said, glaring at him. He giggled and poked my shoulder.

"But it's true!"

"SHUT UP!"

I looked desperately over at Phil, but he just gave me a lopsided grin, his cheeks tainted pink. He shuffled closer and snuggled into my shoulder, burrowing his face into my neck. I smiled as his hot breath tickled my skin. He pressed a kiss into the skin and murmured a weak 'I love you.'

"Right back at ya Phil."

Phil moved off me and faced the camera, turning it so he was staring point blank at the screen. He read the comments and grinned. His smile went even bigger as he read one comment out loud.

"Phoebe+Bella say: How long have you two been dating? How did it start? Do you love him?" Phil turned to me and smiled, love filling his beautiful crystal blue eyes.

"Firstly, I want to say. Dan, you are one hell of a good kiss. And a damn good shag."

My eyes widened and he just grinned and kept going.

"We've been dating for a while now. And I love this stupid idiot to pieces."

"Shut up." I growled and held his hand, squeezing it slightly. We were going to do it.

"And as for how it started…" Phil started speaking but I cut him off.

"I guess you could say it started with a dream."

And with those words leaving my lips, I pushed my head forward and kissed his beautiful, peach lips.

And for once all was right in the world.

**THE END. WE'VE FINISHED. I'M SAD NOW. BUT I COULDN'T THINK OF A WAY TO CONTINUE IT. I WILL BE WRITING A SEQUEL, BUT FOR NOW WE ARE DONE. THANKYOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT ON MY FIRST EVER FULL STORY, AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY. SORRY FOR THE RIDICULOUSLY FLUFFY AND CHEESY ENDING. I LOVE YOU ALL. MWAH. THIS IS THE IVYDAGGERS…SIGNING OUT. -Theivydaggers**


	17. AUTHORS NOTE YOU SHOULD READ

**Hey my lovelies! Obviously this is not an update because this story is finished, but I just want to send a note around to remind people that the SEQUEL IS UP! *Children cheering* SO GO, GO CHECK IT OUT! Protect You is the sequel and i'm really looking forward to writing this plot line and new characters!**

**The story includes many new characters and goes into much more depth about things mentioned! Meet;**

**Iza Bateman:**

**Age: 23**

**Occupation: Counselor/ Therapist **

**Favorite colour: Red**

**Favorite word: Euphonious**

**Favorite song: Pretty much the whole soundtrack of Le Mis and everything My Chemical Romance**

**Aim: To help people, maybe write a book and to get Aly back for her latest prank.**

**Favorite book: A Series of Unfortunate Events**

**Aly (Alyssa) Knight:**

**Age: 22**

**Occupation: Receptionist, MC worker and bounty hunter (Kidding)**

**Favorite thing to do: Tease Iza **

**Favorite book: The Harry Potter series**

**Nationality: Moved to England with Iza. Best friends do everything together.**

**Favorite colour: Blue**

**Aim: To make the world less full of GIANT DICKHEADS. And to marry Oli Sykes. **

**As well as many more (and all your favorites)**

**Please go check it out, I promise it's worth it.**

**I love you all 3**

**-Theivydaggers**


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